This can be such a struggle. We need people; people are challenging. I'm not sure I'll ever figure this out exactly. Like all of us I'm flailing toward old age without a plan. It's like jumping off the world into a dark unknown and having to go whether you want to or not. Writing and connecting through words is a surprising comfort. Thanks for your comment.
Love this. Through the first part of this story, I was smiling to myself with the thought, "My mother-in-law is dead...", as I was not good enough for about 20 years either. And frankly, her absence made my husband's cancer battle a little easier. Had she (and her opinions) been here, I would have ended up in prison.
Through the second half of the story, I realized I am prepping for old-ladyhood too; I just didn't know it. Now that I am a 56-year-old widow of almost two months, I am thinking about my next steps, and how they will serve me through my 60s and into my 70s. I look at my parents differently, think about how my children will adapt if I am gone too, and work on practical changes that will stand by me in the years to come. I enjoyed prepping for snowstorms, power outages, and the like (I didn't become an end-of-the world prepper because I don't need to survive that) but this kind of prepping also seems like it might be beneficial. Thanks for the insight, the captivating story, and the universal truth that aging is not for sissies!!
Thank you, Colby. I can completely understand your sentiments. I'm glad you kept yourself out of prison. And I'm sorry for this fresh loss you're living through. It's the toughest experience I've had. But life just keeps on and somehow we're glad for that❤️
This piece captures something most people don't talk about: the strategy behind watching older women live alone. What stands out is the paradox at the heart of it all - trying to prep for a future that's fundamentally unpredictable based on observing people whose own careful plans got sideswiped by circumstances. My grandma used to say she'd never need help, but circumstances change faster than plans. The cucmber exchanges and elevator installations feel like small acts of control in the face of something way bigger. It's almost like building a fortress out of Post-its, which maybe is all we can really do anyway.
My mouth fell open while reading this. It's brutal and compelling. Old age is often the age of self-betrayal, when our life choices betray who we have been. Your insights are knife sharp. What an excellent piece of writing. I'll stop babbling now.
It's why we need community so badly.
And community comes with all the annoying people that we can't be bothered with.
What we can learn is to work on outgrowing our own judgemental tendencies and surround ourselves with people and learn to take them just as they are.
This can be such a struggle. We need people; people are challenging. I'm not sure I'll ever figure this out exactly. Like all of us I'm flailing toward old age without a plan. It's like jumping off the world into a dark unknown and having to go whether you want to or not. Writing and connecting through words is a surprising comfort. Thanks for your comment.
Love this. Through the first part of this story, I was smiling to myself with the thought, "My mother-in-law is dead...", as I was not good enough for about 20 years either. And frankly, her absence made my husband's cancer battle a little easier. Had she (and her opinions) been here, I would have ended up in prison.
Through the second half of the story, I realized I am prepping for old-ladyhood too; I just didn't know it. Now that I am a 56-year-old widow of almost two months, I am thinking about my next steps, and how they will serve me through my 60s and into my 70s. I look at my parents differently, think about how my children will adapt if I am gone too, and work on practical changes that will stand by me in the years to come. I enjoyed prepping for snowstorms, power outages, and the like (I didn't become an end-of-the world prepper because I don't need to survive that) but this kind of prepping also seems like it might be beneficial. Thanks for the insight, the captivating story, and the universal truth that aging is not for sissies!!
Thank you, Colby. I can completely understand your sentiments. I'm glad you kept yourself out of prison. And I'm sorry for this fresh loss you're living through. It's the toughest experience I've had. But life just keeps on and somehow we're glad for that❤️
This piece captures something most people don't talk about: the strategy behind watching older women live alone. What stands out is the paradox at the heart of it all - trying to prep for a future that's fundamentally unpredictable based on observing people whose own careful plans got sideswiped by circumstances. My grandma used to say she'd never need help, but circumstances change faster than plans. The cucmber exchanges and elevator installations feel like small acts of control in the face of something way bigger. It's almost like building a fortress out of Post-its, which maybe is all we can really do anyway.
Excellent insight. I sure wish we had more than paper notes for certainty but I haven't seen examples of that. Thanks for your comment.
My mouth fell open while reading this. It's brutal and compelling. Old age is often the age of self-betrayal, when our life choices betray who we have been. Your insights are knife sharp. What an excellent piece of writing. I'll stop babbling now.
Thank you, Karen. I very much appreciate your feedback!
This is SO compellingly written. Bravissima!
Thank you, Sydney. I appreciate you commenting!