19 Comments
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Rachel Kramer Bussel's avatar

John, I turned 50 today and so appreciate you making such a big birthday hilarious. It truly helps to be able to laugh at/with ourselves.

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John DeVore's avatar

omg HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHEL and welcome

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Carmelinda Escuder's avatar

Bright side. Like when I hit the post butten inadvertently as I just did. I can chalk it up to being unfamiliar with these darn computers. (Sorry, it really was unintentional). Actually, I must admit I prefer aging to the alternative. Hang in there and think of all those Senior Discounts coming your way. Thanks again for a “good read.”

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Colby J. Barak's avatar

Oh, now I want to write the female equivalent... so funny, thanks for the chuckle I needed today.

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Carmelinda Escuder's avatar

Mr. Devore,

Thank you for expressing MY views on aging! So many of your observations hit home. I’ll be 76 next month, so you would be considered a ‘youngun in my world. However, I remember when I first realized that most of my health professionals must have graduated from kindergarten the year I received my B.A. At that time I found it both frightening and amusing. Your laugh provoking observations of the inevitable made my day. In many cultures other than ours the elderly-or, in your case- approaching being elderly- are revered. Not so much in America. So, good luck being offered a seat on the bus, and not getting honked at for driving the speed limit. I choose to look at the

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Iris Blasi's avatar

I laughed so much reading this, I may have pulled something. Happy belated birthday, John ; )

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Jackie Fishman's avatar

O yes .. at 73 EVERYBODY is younger than me but I love that sometimes they forget this and invite me to do something challenging , so glad I live among a variety of age groups and not in a community of 55 plus!

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Christopher Stevenson's avatar

Enjoyed this a lot.

I’m 54 and just recently wrote a piece on here about how, when one turns 50, it’s the equivalent of a washing machine going out of warranty. Everything works fine until that day, and then the machine starts making ominous clanking sounds.

I won’t link to my own work in your comments as that seems gauche, but please feel free to check it out. It’s nowhere near as funny as yours, but also makes reference to the uncomfortable experience of younger doctors.

There’s also a whole section on Burt Ward’s penis, in case that’s an added incentive (I mean, why wouldn’t it be?)

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John DeVore's avatar

Burt Ward's penis, you say? Interesting.

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Christopher Stevenson's avatar

An obviously irresistible hook, no? For clarity, I meant the subject, not the penis itself.

BTW fellow NY-er here. Nice to “meet” you.

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Jill CampbellMason's avatar

Touches of humor seem to be even better than touching your toes while in the shower--after 50 (or 69. or 79...)

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Stephanie Hunt-Crowley's avatar

Ah, that is why they do it - the insurance companies demand it. I ran into that when I dislocated and broke my elbow. I was a self-pay so followed all the charges. I had the x-ray taken at a designated facility and paid for it, took the xrays and delivered them to the surgeon at his office. He showed me where I had fractured the radial tip and would need surgery. THEN I received a bill demanding payment for the radiologist''s reading - which had never happened! So I challenged it and was told that the insurance company required that EVERY person must be billed whether the radiologist had ever looked at an x-ray or not! If the facility did not comply, they would lose their contract!!! That is how the current system makes the insurance companies rich and the patients broke. I also, as a self pay, found out how much the doctors actually get paid - and its not what you think.

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Sarah Knight's avatar

This reminded me of one night this summer when we were dining at a hot new NYC restaurant. A large table of women (I am 46, I’m guessing they were in their mid-late 20’s) were seated nearby, and I remember looking at them and thinking, ‘GOD THEY HAVE SUCH YOUNG SKIN.’ Apparently perimenopause is turning me into Buffalo Bill…

Enjoy your Shingles vax! It’s a doozy 🫩🥴🥵🥶🤕

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Stephanie Hunt-Crowley's avatar

Did he really tell you on your first visit that he would prescribe meds to lower cholesterol? Did he have a blood analyser in his office like my vet in the US had? I never had a blood analysis until I moved to France 10 years ago - I did not even know my blood group! I do now :) ! Thinking back, I never questioned as to why my vet had more advanced equipment than a doctor!!!

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John DeVore's avatar

I had done bloodwork already at an off-site facility per my insurance company.

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Swing Thoughts and Roundabouts's avatar

You've just got to play your old man card. Statins are a canard. They made me feel much older. "Not going to happen," I say, "Drop it. And I don't want to hear about it again."

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Stephanie Sellars's avatar

So funny. I love your style. I'm approaching the age you speak of, and you know, for single women, it either means becoming invisible or taking up flying lessons and the liberation of no longer giving a fuck. I heard a radio ad in Walgreens the other day, targeting Gen X-ers to get the pneumonia vaccine. It mentioned fanny packs. Oh boy, I thought, I've crossed over!

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Mary Madigan-Cassidy's avatar

I can’t decide which line is my favorite. I’m a living stick of butter? A dream with feet?

And also, in case you haven’t noticed, they’ve also hired 12-year-olds to read the news. Where did they all come from?

Really enjoyed it –– thanks for sharing.

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Sherryl's avatar

i slowed down by taking vrs from work n following my writing passion

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