How I Keep My Love of Music Alive as a Deaf Person
These are the ways I enjoy music even though I can no longer hear it
You would think that something like music could only be enjoyed by people who can hear it. For me, losing my hearing didn’t mean the death of music like I’d thought it would. Now, over three decades later, more possibilities are opening up to the Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing (HOH) to enjoy music. These options have helped many who have never heard music to experience it for the first time, as well as allow someone who’s lost their hearing have the chance to enjoy music again.
Technically, I do not count as “late-deafened,” because this usually applies to someone who has lost their hearing in their senior years. However, I consider myself late-deafened because I was thirteen when I became ill with meningitis and lost my hearing as a result. By then, I knew music well, so I can understand the desire a late-deafened person would feel in wanting to keep music in their lives somehow. Fortunately, there are ways a late-deafened person can keep their love for music alive, even if they can’t hear that music very well anymore, or at all.
After losing my hearing, I fell into a deep depression. It wasn’t just that I couldn’t hear anymore, but that my relationship with music wasn’t going to be the same.
When I was growing up, everyone in my family listened to music. There was music playing in our house every day. Sometimes me and my six siblings sat out in the car to listen to the radio. We often had our favorite eight-track tapes, vinyl records, or cassettes playing either in the car, on our boomboxes, or on the stereo. Both of my parents loved music, so they often played their favorites—my dad, Frank Sinatra, and my mom, Creedence Clearwater Revival.
Because of this, we grew up listening to both old and new songs. It’s thanks to my dad that I came to love The Righteous Brothers and, thanks to my mom, I still remember some of the Elvis Presley songs she adored. Of course, I didn’t like all of the songs I heard growing up, but we all respected each other’s taste in music. My mom hated the song “Sister Christian” by Night Ranger, but my older sister loved it. My dad didn’t approve of Madonna’s hit “Papa Don’t Preach,” a song I liked to listen to, and neither of my parents liked Prince’s “Purple Rain,” but all of us kids loved it.
One musician we all loved, however, was Michael Jackson. We often had “Beat It” and “Billie Jean” playing in our house or in the car. My youngest sister, Millie, has the middle name “Jean,” so I started calling her “Millie Jean” after the song.
For the songs that alluded to sex, my older sister would often tell us younger kids they were about something else. (We found out the truth on our own later!)
So of course I was very upset when I could no longer enjoy music in the same way after I lost my hearing. I also couldn’t sing along or dance to the songs I loved—at least, not in the same way.
After I adjusted to wearing a hearing aid a few months after receiving it, I was able to listen to songs again, though the sensation was different. Wearing headphones and turning the volume up all the way helped me to faintly hear the musicians singing their songs. In this way I was able to actually hear Michael Bolton belting out the words to his song, “Love Is a Wonderful Thing.” I was so excited that I wrote to his fan club about it.
Singing while wearing headphones, however, wasn’t as easy.
I liked to sing along to songs, but while wearing headphones, that’s the only thing people will hear! There was one time I got so caught up in my singing that my brother-in-law came into the room and told me to keep it down. (Oops!)
The hearing aid helped me to faintly hear songs on TV as well. My siblings would play music videos and tell me the words everyone was singing. (This was before TV had closed captioning, and before MTV stopped playing music videos.) When it was allowed, they would play music on the stereo really loud, standing in front of me as they sang the songs so I knew the words. (My parents preferred that I read lips instead of using sign language to communicate.) This helped me a lot, too. Later, when I started dating the man who later became my husband, who was also deaf, I would tell him the words of songs being played while my siblings danced along to the music.
Several years after losing my hearing, I couldn’t wear my hearing aid anymore due to an allergic reaction to the material of the ear mold, so using it and headphones to help me “hear” music was no longer an option.
Now I couldn’t hear anything at all. Cue more depression.
However, I have since learned to enjoy songs in other ways, mostly the songs that I remember from before I lost my hearing.
I still sing, but only when there’s nobody around! I’ve spent many solo drives singing the songs I can still remember. Sadly, sometimes I forget how a particular song went, but reading the lyrics helps, and is another way for me to keep music in my life.
After my curiosity about songs I didn’t know got the better of me, I started looking up their lyrics online. Sometimes I’d catch a musical performance on TV and, if there was captioning for the song, I’d learn the lyrics that way.
Then I discovered a new approach.
My friend hosts musical podcast THC Outlaw Radio. When I first came across it, I was thrilled to discover that there was a transcript included. What I like about this radio show is that he tends to play songs from the old days, and some of them I had the good fortune to hear before I lost my hearing. But he often plays songs that I’m not familiar with. This is where the transcript is helpful, although the wording isn’t perfect. Sometimes I know the wording is wrong, but other times, I’m not so sure. Because I don’t know where a song begins or ends, it’s hard to tell if it’s the song lyrics still being displayed or are words being spoken by the host. It’s still a nice way of being aware of songs I wasn’t familiar with.
There are other ways I enjoy music as a Deaf person. After I bought my youngest child a guitar, he suggested I place my hand on it as he played. I did and was surprised at how strong the vibrations were. It wasn’t a normal “shaking” kind of vibration I felt as he played, but more of a musical kind of sensation. As though the music was playing and I felt the music through my fingertips. I’ve also done the same while he played piano.
Watching dance is another way for me to enjoy music. In a way, dance brings music to life, so we can “see” it in action. Some dances mimic the same kind of rhythm the music expresses, so this helps me learn what kind of music is being played. Dance is such a beautiful art; some dance moves, such as ballet and classic pop, are especially captivating and enjoyable to watch. The movements the dancers express through the music allow me to get an idea of how the music plays. Plus, watching expert dance moves allow me to appreciate their work.
With greater awareness and accessibility spreading for people with disabilities, people are trying to bring music back into the lives of those who are deaf, or introduce music to Deaf people who’ve never heard it. In one example, people fluent in American Sign Language (ASL) are signing the words of songs and sharing them online. I’ve seen a video of this in action, where two women not only signed but also showed emotional expressions on their faces and actions to go along with the words of “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. But because sign language sentence structure is different from spoken English, the signs come out differently than what the lyrics actually contain.
Matt Maxey, who was born with profound hearing loss and is a lifelong hearing aid user, is the founder of DEAFinitely Dope, an organization making hip hop music accessible to the Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing. He explained to CNN that being HOH has not been a barrier in being able to enjoy music. He has also worked on learning the signs for song lyrics so he can interpret songs to the public. He volunteers at an ASL music camp and other ASL-centered music programs to bring more ASL-interpretated music to more people who struggle with enjoying it. .
Some public school classes work with students who are deaf or HOH to enable them to use instruments which create strong vibrations. One such specialized class is Michigan’s Inclusive Music Class for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing Community, which helps young children enjoy music through instruments such as drums, maracas, and tambourines.
Finally, there are special vests that turn the sound vibrations from music into physical sensations which the wearer can feel.
I have yet to make use of any of these methods to help me enjoy music, but I’m grateful they’re available. I continue to relish songs playing in my head, while also occasionally singing along. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to experience music in other ways as well. After all, music is for everyone, even for those of us who can’t hear it.
Dawn Colclasure is a Deaf writer in Oregon. She is a freelance writer, columnist, and book reviewer. She is the author and co-author of several books. Her work has appeared in newspapers, magazines, anthologies and websites. Her websites are dawnsbooks.com and dmcwriter.com. Her X is @dawnwilson325 and her Instagram is @dawn10325.
Dawn, thank you for a glimpse into your world today. I feel heartened that people with disabilities have more tools available for them to enjoy the life they want to lead.
Thank you so much for writing this. I learned so much from reading your work.