I will always grieve for the women trapped by the earthquake, the ones the men won't rescue because they are not allowed to touch women. "Let them die rather than commit the sin of touching a woman." They are waiting for the women diggers to free them. The women medical helper, where are they? The Taliban does not allow women to study medicine. I grieve over them, the bones of our sisters.
Shawna, wow, your courage is stunning, as is the way you put words to the experience of emotional and financial abuse rooted in patriarchy. You are creating space for other survivors with your story. Thank you for being the truth teller you are.
The honesty here, the willingness to dilate the small experiences of withholding, diminishing, holding down that by themselves might appear to be small, but in sum, become an abusive relationship, is courageous and critical to understanding abuse dynamics. To understanding, specifically, how marriages with men can isolate and entrap women. Thank you for sharing, for being real, for being brave enough to leave and report back from the other side that seems so unattainable for so many. I'm so glad you made it, friend! <3
What an emotional read. I could feel a sense of heat and rage in my spine, the sort of empathy that comes from a pain I've felt in my bones before. And the ending made me gasp for air, a brief moment of relief after all the bullshit that patriarchy puts on anyone that isn't cishet male. I hope things continue to get better and it's beautiful that Shawna's children have a parent they can go to for some unlearning of all this.
Well-written and very clear, specific--it's the sort of honest writing that makes this magazine worth reading.
Thank you so much, Noami.
I will always grieve for the women trapped by the earthquake, the ones the men won't rescue because they are not allowed to touch women. "Let them die rather than commit the sin of touching a woman." They are waiting for the women diggers to free them. The women medical helper, where are they? The Taliban does not allow women to study medicine. I grieve over them, the bones of our sisters.
Our collective grief.
Yes. Our sisters.
What makes me cry is not their death - we all die. But the disregard, that they are nothing, in such a moment, except a shadow of men.
Shawna, wow, your courage is stunning, as is the way you put words to the experience of emotional and financial abuse rooted in patriarchy. You are creating space for other survivors with your story. Thank you for being the truth teller you are.
Thank you! You always warm my heart with your presence and readership and friendship!
The honesty here, the willingness to dilate the small experiences of withholding, diminishing, holding down that by themselves might appear to be small, but in sum, become an abusive relationship, is courageous and critical to understanding abuse dynamics. To understanding, specifically, how marriages with men can isolate and entrap women. Thank you for sharing, for being real, for being brave enough to leave and report back from the other side that seems so unattainable for so many. I'm so glad you made it, friend! <3
Well wow. Thanks for this. 😭
What an emotional read. I could feel a sense of heat and rage in my spine, the sort of empathy that comes from a pain I've felt in my bones before. And the ending made me gasp for air, a brief moment of relief after all the bullshit that patriarchy puts on anyone that isn't cishet male. I hope things continue to get better and it's beautiful that Shawna's children have a parent they can go to for some unlearning of all this.
Unlearning. Yes. That’s the key. Unlearning the thinking, the fear, and the ways our bodies hold onto both.
Congratulations on choosing your peace. Thank you for sharing your story.
In my first marriage, my wusband had all the big desires and the audacity to accuse me of wasting money.
I too broke free, increased my credit score and decreased debt load after leaving him.
I love that your daughters chose you over money.