One could argue that Titanic is a story about the dangers of arrogant engineering, as in the "unsinkable" ship, and of the arrogant engineering of relationships, as in young Rose Bukater's betrothal to Caledon Hockley to save her family's social status.
I appreciate your argument about Rose tossing the stone overboard, but was she doing so to break free of her social class or to send it down to Jack, the true treasure in her life? "You look for treasure in the wrong place," elderly Rose says at the end. "Only life is priceless."
This was an excellent article and an easy to follow framework. Now, to execute it is another issue! I just finished serializing my memoir here on Substack, and it was so valuable getting feedback and a sense of how it resonated. Readers helped me see things that I couldn't.
But to answer your question, I think my Titanic is this, "A woman who was born between worlds tries to find the one she belongs to, and gradually discovers she was never supposed to choose."
I love this framing: “a woman who was born between worlds.” It feels like the kind of sentence that can hold an entire memoir. I’m always drawn to stories where belonging isn’t a destination but a negotiation — and where the real movement is realizing you were never supposed to choose only one version of yourself.
I love this idea! I wonder how to hold it in premise. So like specifically, would it be a story about a woman who can't decide between lovers so she becomes poly by the end? Or the story of a woman who [and I'm not kidding, it could be this simple] can't decide on an outfit to wear to her sister's wedding and ends up cutting them up Molly-Ringwalk-in-Pretty-in-Pink-style to create something that represents MULTIPLE versions of herself in action?
To me, it feels much closer to the second, not choosing between two lovers, but cutting up the dress and recombining it into something that can hold more than one version of the self.
Sometimes the first draft is just collecting evidence. Revision is where I finally notice what the story has been trying to confess. Maybe that's also where I stop trying to make the dress look like the one I planned to wear, and start cutting along different seams.
This is exactly how personal essays seem to work for me: the event is usually only bait. I think I’m writing about a beach, a lake, a trip, a list — and then the body walks in, followed by fear, desire, aging, and the strange shame of wanting something after years of being practical.
I needed this reminder that the real story often reveals itself only after the first, more obedient version has stepped aside.
Thank you — this piece really clarified something I’d been circling around in my own drafts. I loved the idea that the first version of the story is often just the polite one.
Yes! I think in this essay I suggested it's better to find premise BEFORE you write but I actually think it is just as good, sometimes better to find it AFTER you get all your stories out. THEN go through and lightly tether the beats to whatever you decide your premise should be. It's actually a really fun way to REVISE!!
I have to disagree about “Wild” and Strayed. I maybe have a different perspective than some. I came from a similar background, albeit with my father, not my mother. Strayed needs to prove to herself that she can accomplish something that others deride her for attempting. She’s essentially proving her worth to herself.
When a parent breaks you down to their needs and makes every act of “love” conditional, your self worth is never even formed. It’s all a performance geared toward having a “normal” interaction with that parent, even though you don’t really have any idea about what a normal life without an abusive, narcissistic parent is.
Losing her shoe and deciding to finish despite the hardship and damage is very similar to the story of our lives. You make do with what you have. Quitting that journey is not an option. It would simply prove and reinforce the parent’s opinion and view of you, alive or dead.
I had to go through a similar voyage that was both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time, and I had to do it alone. It was the only way I could prove my father wrong to my inner self. I didn’t care whether he saw it or not. It was about me redeeming and creating my own sense of self worth.
Re-examine “Wild” in that light. It’s not just a story. It’s a journey from a life of suffocation to a life that where you can begin to feel alive.
I love the way you break down what these stories are about so concisely!
Thanks for humoring me by listening to me prattle on about this, AGAIN! 😎
One could argue that Titanic is a story about the dangers of arrogant engineering, as in the "unsinkable" ship, and of the arrogant engineering of relationships, as in young Rose Bukater's betrothal to Caledon Hockley to save her family's social status.
I appreciate your argument about Rose tossing the stone overboard, but was she doing so to break free of her social class or to send it down to Jack, the true treasure in her life? "You look for treasure in the wrong place," elderly Rose says at the end. "Only life is priceless."
This is the deleted ending in the film.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBrKkAQPzL8
I enjoyed the fundamentals of this essay, thank you.
Thanks for sharing that link. That was beautiful.
Thanks for this comment! Titanic is definitely, in addition to being a floating social class, a floating exercise in remarkable hubris! Great points!
This was an excellent article and an easy to follow framework. Now, to execute it is another issue! I just finished serializing my memoir here on Substack, and it was so valuable getting feedback and a sense of how it resonated. Readers helped me see things that I couldn't.
But to answer your question, I think my Titanic is this, "A woman who was born between worlds tries to find the one she belongs to, and gradually discovers she was never supposed to choose."
I love this framing: “a woman who was born between worlds.” It feels like the kind of sentence that can hold an entire memoir. I’m always drawn to stories where belonging isn’t a destination but a negotiation — and where the real movement is realizing you were never supposed to choose only one version of yourself.
Thank you, Penelope, that’s a wonderful way to put it. And yes, there’s no resolution, more like an awakening, if that’s the right word.
Yes — awakening feels right. Not neat resolution, but that moment when the story stops behaving and finally starts telling the truth.
I love this idea! I wonder how to hold it in premise. So like specifically, would it be a story about a woman who can't decide between lovers so she becomes poly by the end? Or the story of a woman who [and I'm not kidding, it could be this simple] can't decide on an outfit to wear to her sister's wedding and ends up cutting them up Molly-Ringwalk-in-Pretty-in-Pink-style to create something that represents MULTIPLE versions of herself in action?
To me, it feels much closer to the second, not choosing between two lovers, but cutting up the dress and recombining it into something that can hold more than one version of the self.
Sometimes the first draft is just collecting evidence. Revision is where I finally notice what the story has been trying to confess. Maybe that's also where I stop trying to make the dress look like the one I planned to wear, and start cutting along different seams.
YES! I LOVE THIS!!! Thank you, Penelope!!
This gave me shivers! Thank you! 🙏🙏🙏 And thank you to Joselin - you have opened my eyes and ideas!!! 🙏🙏🙏
Wow, thanks, Keena. Appreciate that.
Oh I love this! And I LOVE the idea of serializing! Congratulations!!
Thank you 🙂🙏
This is tremendously helpful. I’m getting clearer all the time on my memoir’s through line.
Yay Michelle! We need a check in soon! xo
This is exactly how personal essays seem to work for me: the event is usually only bait. I think I’m writing about a beach, a lake, a trip, a list — and then the body walks in, followed by fear, desire, aging, and the strange shame of wanting something after years of being practical.
I needed this reminder that the real story often reveals itself only after the first, more obedient version has stepped aside.
Ooooh! Love how you put this. Thank you!!
Thank you — this piece really clarified something I’d been circling around in my own drafts. I loved the idea that the first version of the story is often just the polite one.
Yes! I think in this essay I suggested it's better to find premise BEFORE you write but I actually think it is just as good, sometimes better to find it AFTER you get all your stories out. THEN go through and lightly tether the beats to whatever you decide your premise should be. It's actually a really fun way to REVISE!!
I have to disagree about “Wild” and Strayed. I maybe have a different perspective than some. I came from a similar background, albeit with my father, not my mother. Strayed needs to prove to herself that she can accomplish something that others deride her for attempting. She’s essentially proving her worth to herself.
When a parent breaks you down to their needs and makes every act of “love” conditional, your self worth is never even formed. It’s all a performance geared toward having a “normal” interaction with that parent, even though you don’t really have any idea about what a normal life without an abusive, narcissistic parent is.
Losing her shoe and deciding to finish despite the hardship and damage is very similar to the story of our lives. You make do with what you have. Quitting that journey is not an option. It would simply prove and reinforce the parent’s opinion and view of you, alive or dead.
I had to go through a similar voyage that was both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time, and I had to do it alone. It was the only way I could prove my father wrong to my inner self. I didn’t care whether he saw it or not. It was about me redeeming and creating my own sense of self worth.
Re-examine “Wild” in that light. It’s not just a story. It’s a journey from a life of suffocation to a life that where you can begin to feel alive.
❤️🕊️
Beautifully put, Beth. Thank you for this!
This is so well explained. Thank you!!
Thank you for reading, Jazmine!
Really helpful! Thanks for the insight
Oh good! Thank you!!
Love this. Super helpful
Thank you, Noreen!
Excellent piece!
Thank you, Andrea!!
You are so welcome!
This is awesome!
Thanks for reading, Heather!
You had me at Brangelina and Beyonjay. I mean you had me earlier than that but you REALLY had me at that point.
I honestly think that could be a whole book on its own! 🤪