“When I wanted to move to New York City, I made it happen. When I wanted to travel the world, I made it happen. When I decided to start my own business, I made it happen. It was exhausting, sure, but to me it meant I had control of my life. Never easy, but always possible. Why should becoming a mother be any different?”
Beautifully said. Sometimes a life path chooses us - and surprises us. It’s wild to read another woman’s story about the winding path to being childfree and to also learn something new about myself in the process. Thanks for sharing your story.
It's a painful process to go through. Thank you for sharing the side people rarely hear. Most assume you have chosen to be childfree. They never consider the pain of wanting to be a parent and not having it happen for whatever reason. I feel your pain because I went through it myself. Good for you having the awareness to start living with intention.
Thank you, Rindy. I know what you mean, I can't tell you how many people tell me how lucky I am to have so much freedom because they assume I chose it. I'm sorry you are able to relate to what I wrote.
Thank you for writing this. I'm in the midst of infertility (8 years and not giving up hope just yet). It is hearing the words of others that helps us heal through this.
Thank you for sharing that-- I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this too. I deeply appreciate your comment and I wish you all the best on your journey. xo
Oh, Nicole. This felt like looking in a mirror. I feel this piece so deeply as our experiences are so similar. I admire your courage to share it with us. Thank you thank you thank you 💛
I remember this journey well. Was on it for 5 1/2 years. My story had a different outcome, but the feelings and experience along the way synched completely with yours. Even though I ended up a mom by way of adoption and later a very surprise pregnancy, I will always carry the weight of living through that extreme unknown (and yes, totally out of my control) time. I wrote about it in my publication, and I found it very cathartic. Hope you have too.
"But I was still living in a headspace where I was likely to get anything I pursued doggedly. I believed that when I wanted something all I had to do was work on it until I got it. I had control. I would figure out how to make it happen." These are almost the exact words I told myself when I was on the pregnancy journey years ago. I still feel the heartbreak and longing to be a mother when I read your words. My challenge was not getting pregnant, but staying pregnant. I did, in the end, have a baby, but not because I had any control over the process. It was a humbling lesson. Thank you for sharing your experience so other women know: 1) they are not alone and 2) infertility can lead to surprising, fulfilling, new paths.
This was heartbreakingly well written. I am inspired by and in awe of Nicole's journey. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading it, Sam. And for your kind words.
“When I wanted to move to New York City, I made it happen. When I wanted to travel the world, I made it happen. When I decided to start my own business, I made it happen. It was exhausting, sure, but to me it meant I had control of my life. Never easy, but always possible. Why should becoming a mother be any different?”
Beautifully said. Sometimes a life path chooses us - and surprises us. It’s wild to read another woman’s story about the winding path to being childfree and to also learn something new about myself in the process. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you for reading it, Dana. I appreciate your thoughtful comment.
It's a painful process to go through. Thank you for sharing the side people rarely hear. Most assume you have chosen to be childfree. They never consider the pain of wanting to be a parent and not having it happen for whatever reason. I feel your pain because I went through it myself. Good for you having the awareness to start living with intention.
Thank you, Rindy. I know what you mean, I can't tell you how many people tell me how lucky I am to have so much freedom because they assume I chose it. I'm sorry you are able to relate to what I wrote.
Thank you for writing this. I'm in the midst of infertility (8 years and not giving up hope just yet). It is hearing the words of others that helps us heal through this.
Thank you for sharing that-- I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this too. I deeply appreciate your comment and I wish you all the best on your journey. xo
Oh, Nicole. This felt like looking in a mirror. I feel this piece so deeply as our experiences are so similar. I admire your courage to share it with us. Thank you thank you thank you 💛
Kelly, thank you. I'm so very sorry that you're able to relate so closely to my story. Sending lots of support. xo
I remember this journey well. Was on it for 5 1/2 years. My story had a different outcome, but the feelings and experience along the way synched completely with yours. Even though I ended up a mom by way of adoption and later a very surprise pregnancy, I will always carry the weight of living through that extreme unknown (and yes, totally out of my control) time. I wrote about it in my publication, and I found it very cathartic. Hope you have too.
Thank you for sharing that, Leslie. Yes, writing has really helped.
"But I was still living in a headspace where I was likely to get anything I pursued doggedly. I believed that when I wanted something all I had to do was work on it until I got it. I had control. I would figure out how to make it happen." These are almost the exact words I told myself when I was on the pregnancy journey years ago. I still feel the heartbreak and longing to be a mother when I read your words. My challenge was not getting pregnant, but staying pregnant. I did, in the end, have a baby, but not because I had any control over the process. It was a humbling lesson. Thank you for sharing your experience so other women know: 1) they are not alone and 2) infertility can lead to surprising, fulfilling, new paths.
Thank you for your kind words, Linda.
Thank you, Nicole, for your openness and vulnerability. There is so much pain in this process, and your strength is apparent in your words.
Thank you so much for reading it, Michele. And also for your kind words.
Nicole, I feel your devastation. Wow. Thank you for sharing this deep, honest journey.
Much love to you
Thank you so much, Prajna. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment.