I'm 82, fifteen years retired... and suffer from the same guilt when I'm (meant to be) relaxing. In my case, I think, it's the product of a mom who, no matter how well I did at anything, always insisted I'd do better if I "applied myself." Of course, I might have simply vegged out without her prodding. Mixed blessing.
The dialogue with your ADHD sounds perfectly normal to me! I suppose I have that sort of inner conversation all the time! I never knew it was associated with ADHD.
I haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD, but I’ve struggled to relax on vacation too. I’ve blamed that mostly on self-imposed unrealistic deadlines and the culture of productivity we are all steeped in (at least here in the US). Also, as a woman who tries to fight gendered stereotypes, I feel like I need to prove my worthiness, especially with projects that don’t explicitly pay (creative projects like Substack). Then let’s sprinkle in a little bit of the perfectionism from which I’m recovering from my youth… and there you have it! A recipe for not being able to fully relax. Also, you’re a mom. So there’s that part too 😊 Congrats on getting your essay done for Monday… though I did notice you misspelled “family” and had a word in there, “from” I think it was, twice. 😉
Thank you, and yes indeed on our culture of productivity, though I often feel like I'm the one generating that pressure. All I can hope is that I break that cycle for my daughter (and myself, though that will be harder). And I appreciate you catching those errors - both have been fixed.
That line — ‘you’re still you, silly’ — hit me hard. I don’t live with ADHD, but I know that voice that drags guilt like extra luggage, even on holiday. And I keep thinking: part of the weight comes from how little space there still is for women’s health and neurodiverse experiences in our systems. No wonder we carry it alone. I wonder what might change if our systems made space for that reality instead of pretending we can just push through?
I'm 82, fifteen years retired... and suffer from the same guilt when I'm (meant to be) relaxing. In my case, I think, it's the product of a mom who, no matter how well I did at anything, always insisted I'd do better if I "applied myself." Of course, I might have simply vegged out without her prodding. Mixed blessing.
The dialogue with your ADHD sounds perfectly normal to me! I suppose I have that sort of inner conversation all the time! I never knew it was associated with ADHD.
I haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD, but I’ve struggled to relax on vacation too. I’ve blamed that mostly on self-imposed unrealistic deadlines and the culture of productivity we are all steeped in (at least here in the US). Also, as a woman who tries to fight gendered stereotypes, I feel like I need to prove my worthiness, especially with projects that don’t explicitly pay (creative projects like Substack). Then let’s sprinkle in a little bit of the perfectionism from which I’m recovering from my youth… and there you have it! A recipe for not being able to fully relax. Also, you’re a mom. So there’s that part too 😊 Congrats on getting your essay done for Monday… though I did notice you misspelled “family” and had a word in there, “from” I think it was, twice. 😉
Thank you, and yes indeed on our culture of productivity, though I often feel like I'm the one generating that pressure. All I can hope is that I break that cycle for my daughter (and myself, though that will be harder). And I appreciate you catching those errors - both have been fixed.
I feel you on this!! I wish shutting our ADHD brains off was easier but it's such a struggle 🫠 So glad you got to enjoy LOG OFF on vacation though!!
That line — ‘you’re still you, silly’ — hit me hard. I don’t live with ADHD, but I know that voice that drags guilt like extra luggage, even on holiday. And I keep thinking: part of the weight comes from how little space there still is for women’s health and neurodiverse experiences in our systems. No wonder we carry it alone. I wonder what might change if our systems made space for that reality instead of pretending we can just push through?