Great essay, Brittany. I have similar experiences with disordered eating. I've written a lot about it on my stack. I've done a lot of work on that, and have come to a more peaceful place about my body...almost comfortable in the body I have, not the body I used to dream of but rarely attain. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. xo
I have traveled this same road, but it was my bubble butt that disappeared in my 50s. The gap in the back of jeans, the flat stomach in front...how I long to loathe those non-model traits again!
When I started playing pickleball the butt slowly, softly started to show up again, but the love handles above it and menopausal belly takes it home for the win. I stare at the other women I play with and their lean and long limbs, defined arm muscles and very, very flat stomachs, many a decade older than me I think how do they not have this heavy tire to deal with? How did I, the one with rock hard abs end up this way? I do look at myself in the mirror because it's not leaving, no matter how much weight lifting or paddle smacking I do each week, we are in it together. I'm trying to accept it, but the old reverberations of diet culture run deep.
Oh me too… just turned 50 and everything was fine up to 49.5 years. April- Sept I gained one pound a week. At the same time w each passing month my period didn’t come. I call it estrogen math. So one year of zero estrogen equals holding 25 more pounds on my body. Every day I try to make peace with it knowing I’m trying my best. Both my daughter and I got sooo sick during the pandemic that the steroids to help us breathe started changing our bodies muscle blueprint. We are working so hard on inner strength for physical health we are both hoping one day to get some of our old bodies back. It’s not that the bloated bellies define us, but seeing our bloat is depressing and anxiety producing. We want our health back. But with me in menopause - as you know- it’s just so much. Love peace and light to all my menopausal sisters and those who may have sick and struggling young women daughters as well❤️❤️
Powerful words, Brittany. I am in my 50's now and, dammit, menopause brings a whole new level of change. I have to work hard regularly to love my body as-is and in the stage that it is. It is a regular struggle, but words like yours help me remember.
I am in perimenopause and try not to look at my body anymore. When I do I am shocked and wonder how I never noticed certain things before and how long things have been this way.
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s great to see you finding peace n kindness with yourself 💪🙏 It’s a powerful reminder that true peace comes from within, not from external validations I guess.Wishing you continued strength and kindness on your path....
Every word hit home. Exact same age, exact same white friends, exact same ingrained diet culture passed down through the women in my family. It's been a journey! Great read, thank you.
Your words about the gap in the waist are so familiar. Curvy jeans were only a start; I kept waiting for “much curvier.” It’s funny how we think we want something, and later, we pause (or menopause), and think, “This isn’t what I meant.”
It’s refreshing to read your essay. Thank you for sharing something so relatable.
Great essay, Brittany. I have similar experiences with disordered eating. I've written a lot about it on my stack. I've done a lot of work on that, and have come to a more peaceful place about my body...almost comfortable in the body I have, not the body I used to dream of but rarely attain. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. xo
Looking forward to meeting you!
Me too!
I have traveled this same road, but it was my bubble butt that disappeared in my 50s. The gap in the back of jeans, the flat stomach in front...how I long to loathe those non-model traits again!
When I started playing pickleball the butt slowly, softly started to show up again, but the love handles above it and menopausal belly takes it home for the win. I stare at the other women I play with and their lean and long limbs, defined arm muscles and very, very flat stomachs, many a decade older than me I think how do they not have this heavy tire to deal with? How did I, the one with rock hard abs end up this way? I do look at myself in the mirror because it's not leaving, no matter how much weight lifting or paddle smacking I do each week, we are in it together. I'm trying to accept it, but the old reverberations of diet culture run deep.
The diet culture tapes run deep. I hold on to the fact my body keeps me alive every day. We all need grace. Thanks for reading.
Thanks so much. I’m glad it resonated.
Oh me too… just turned 50 and everything was fine up to 49.5 years. April- Sept I gained one pound a week. At the same time w each passing month my period didn’t come. I call it estrogen math. So one year of zero estrogen equals holding 25 more pounds on my body. Every day I try to make peace with it knowing I’m trying my best. Both my daughter and I got sooo sick during the pandemic that the steroids to help us breathe started changing our bodies muscle blueprint. We are working so hard on inner strength for physical health we are both hoping one day to get some of our old bodies back. It’s not that the bloated bellies define us, but seeing our bloat is depressing and anxiety producing. We want our health back. But with me in menopause - as you know- it’s just so much. Love peace and light to all my menopausal sisters and those who may have sick and struggling young women daughters as well❤️❤️
Enjoying reading your journey. Don't feel so alone anymore.
My older sister always told me, if you don't like what you see, then don't look!
Congrats on coming to some level of peace with your body.
There are MORE important issues in life. (If I could just remember them instead of looking in the mirror.)
I also subscribe to Catherine D's Philosophy (keep extra in the tank to preserve your face). After all, that's all I can see in the mirror :-)
It’s been a journey. Thanks for reading.
Dexatrim! I remember those days-definitely not for kids but we still took them. I loved reading your words thank you for sharing🫶🏻
In retrospect I can’t believe I took them! Thanks for reading.
Do you happen to be drinking from the fountain of youth every morning? I would have never thought in a million years that you are in your 50s!
You are such a talented writer.
Ah, too kind. Thanks for reading.
Powerful words, Brittany. I am in my 50's now and, dammit, menopause brings a whole new level of change. I have to work hard regularly to love my body as-is and in the stage that it is. It is a regular struggle, but words like yours help me remember.
Glad you enjoyed the piece. It’s hard isn’t it - acceptance. Happy my body keeps me alive. ♥️
Amen.
I am in perimenopause and try not to look at my body anymore. When I do I am shocked and wonder how I never noticed certain things before and how long things have been this way.
It gets better with acceptance, I think. ♥️ Thanks for reading.
I am hoping that comes with age. I’m just entering this phase. I’m 49 and still having periods (although this month maybe not!)
Hi Brittany,
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s great to see you finding peace n kindness with yourself 💪🙏 It’s a powerful reminder that true peace comes from within, not from external validations I guess.Wishing you continued strength and kindness on your path....
♥️
Every word hit home. Exact same age, exact same white friends, exact same ingrained diet culture passed down through the women in my family. It's been a journey! Great read, thank you.
I’m glad it resonated, I don’t feel so alone! Thanks for reading.
Your words about the gap in the waist are so familiar. Curvy jeans were only a start; I kept waiting for “much curvier.” It’s funny how we think we want something, and later, we pause (or menopause), and think, “This isn’t what I meant.”
It’s refreshing to read your essay. Thank you for sharing something so relatable.
I need the much curvier! Where are they? 😂 Thanks for reading.