It is heartbreaking! And when you put it that way – that these men loved their guns as much as they loved the women they proclaimed to love — that says more about our culture of patriarchy than it does about anything.
Your story and mine are eerily similar. A rifle with reluctant permission first, then a handgun unannounced, then walking out of the third and final try at counseling with a “never again.” And alcohol instead of pot. It was just one of many challenges, but that handgun made me reconsider a lot. Thank you for sharing.
While the guns were the catalyst, they revealed all the real problems with your marriage. I’m so glad you realized these issues before becoming parents! Sharing your story will hopefully help others. You have a blessed life because of some tough decisions you’ve made when you needed to. ❤️
While the gun wasn’t the entire reason my last relationship ended, it certainly played an enormous role. I told my ex that I didn’t want the gun in my apartment when he moved in with me, and he did it anyway because of the same reasons your ex cited. Of course, he didn’t have a history of hunting—he was just a basic white guy who believed he needed to “protect himself.” The truth, however, is that he was throwing microwaves and punching holes in the wall, and I knew that gun was gonna be used on me before it would be used on anyone else. So when I demanded that it go into the storage unit, it created an enormous rift that we never recovered from. And my oh my, how I am grateful.
I hope you are thriving in your singledom and know that you made exactly the right choice.
sorry to hear your marriage didn't happily support a full armory. I was planning to give you for Christmas a nice set of hand grenades to hang on the Christmas tree.
I can't imagine how hard that entire chapter of life must have been 💔 Beautiful essay.
Thank you for sharing this sad story. I was also married to a man who loved guns at least as much as he loved me. I’m sorry for your heartbreak.
It is heartbreaking! And when you put it that way – that these men loved their guns as much as they loved the women they proclaimed to love — that says more about our culture of patriarchy than it does about anything.
Your story and mine are eerily similar. A rifle with reluctant permission first, then a handgun unannounced, then walking out of the third and final try at counseling with a “never again.” And alcohol instead of pot. It was just one of many challenges, but that handgun made me reconsider a lot. Thank you for sharing.
You're well rid of him.
Wonderful essay. I completely relate. Sometimes we need to choose ourselves.
Thank you for having the courage to write this chapter of your life.
While the guns were the catalyst, they revealed all the real problems with your marriage. I’m so glad you realized these issues before becoming parents! Sharing your story will hopefully help others. You have a blessed life because of some tough decisions you’ve made when you needed to. ❤️
While the gun wasn’t the entire reason my last relationship ended, it certainly played an enormous role. I told my ex that I didn’t want the gun in my apartment when he moved in with me, and he did it anyway because of the same reasons your ex cited. Of course, he didn’t have a history of hunting—he was just a basic white guy who believed he needed to “protect himself.” The truth, however, is that he was throwing microwaves and punching holes in the wall, and I knew that gun was gonna be used on me before it would be used on anyone else. So when I demanded that it go into the storage unit, it created an enormous rift that we never recovered from. And my oh my, how I am grateful.
I hope you are thriving in your singledom and know that you made exactly the right choice.
sorry to hear your marriage didn't happily support a full armory. I was planning to give you for Christmas a nice set of hand grenades to hang on the Christmas tree.
Solid writing, well done!
Haha Jose :-) Thank you!
Care
Beautiful, sad story, well told. Makes me wonder how often we humans return to how we were imprinted by our families.
This is so powerful. Skilled and raw, both. ❤️💔❤️💔
Thank you, Jill!!