Salma, I'm so sorry this has been your experience. It's terrifying for a child to have a father like this - mine was like this in part, although his dark side he hid mostly from the public and saved it for his family.
I have learned over many years and from the practice of some helpful principles that it IS possible to forgive our aggressors (*NOT CONDONE THEIR BEHAVIOR) but to release our resentment and fear which is slowly killing our joy. No one get to have power over that part of our lives. It's so touch, since we are conditioned by fear and our survival skills right from childhood.
Sending you so much love and understanding and the message that you are worthy of love, important in this world and powerful, whether your father ever told you that or not.
Marla, your words mean a lot. Thank you for sharing your own story because it helps me know that I'm not the only one. I do wish one day I will let go of the anger, but until then I will keep waiting. Thank you really
Reading this made me feel that my heart is being ripped coldly and slowly out of my chest but i also, resonated terrifyingly with every line even the ones i don’t directly relate to. I SEE YOU and I’m so proud of you and so THANKFUL for you and your bravery to share something so deep and so personal with us. I’m running to get my journal rn. I love you Salma. You’re so brave and so kind and no you’re not the angry man you’re not like him and i hope he dies the brutal death he deserves i hope you get your peace at last
Salma I'm sorry for the things you went through being raised by your dad. It can make one feel very confused. I interviewed one of my patients last year and wrote about her in a post (I'll include it below) but one thing she told me that was very helpful to hear was that she learned in therapy "other people's emotions are not mine." She went through and continues to do therapy which has provided clarity. I wish that for you too. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Salma, I'm so sorry this has been your experience. It's terrifying for a child to have a father like this - mine was like this in part, although his dark side he hid mostly from the public and saved it for his family.
I have learned over many years and from the practice of some helpful principles that it IS possible to forgive our aggressors (*NOT CONDONE THEIR BEHAVIOR) but to release our resentment and fear which is slowly killing our joy. No one get to have power over that part of our lives. It's so touch, since we are conditioned by fear and our survival skills right from childhood.
Sending you so much love and understanding and the message that you are worthy of love, important in this world and powerful, whether your father ever told you that or not.
Marla, your words mean a lot. Thank you for sharing your own story because it helps me know that I'm not the only one. I do wish one day I will let go of the anger, but until then I will keep waiting. Thank you really
I know it helps to be seen and heard. If you'd ever like to chat, feel free to DM me.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it
Reading this made me feel that my heart is being ripped coldly and slowly out of my chest but i also, resonated terrifyingly with every line even the ones i don’t directly relate to. I SEE YOU and I’m so proud of you and so THANKFUL for you and your bravery to share something so deep and so personal with us. I’m running to get my journal rn. I love you Salma. You’re so brave and so kind and no you’re not the angry man you’re not like him and i hope he dies the brutal death he deserves i hope you get your peace at last
Leila, I love you and I really appreciate your support for me since the very beginning. I don't take it for granted. I'm also thankful for you
Powerful. And so heartbreaking. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you for taking this stand for yourself.
Thank you so much
Salma I'm sorry for the things you went through being raised by your dad. It can make one feel very confused. I interviewed one of my patients last year and wrote about her in a post (I'll include it below) but one thing she told me that was very helpful to hear was that she learned in therapy "other people's emotions are not mine." She went through and continues to do therapy which has provided clarity. I wish that for you too. Thank you so much for sharing this.
https://open.substack.com/pub/istiaq/p/hes-wanted-to-die-since-i-was-ten?r=2csnow&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Ditto. But, it made me an outstanding dad knowing the many ways to avoid being.