This is beautiful. It helps you remember your friend and keeps the conversation going. I wish she was still here -- sounds like an awesome person. People say it's hard to make and keep friends when older, and I think it's just because of different schedules and priorities, but our friendships should be prioritized, and so should anything that brings us joy or helps us cope. Having an object to remember her by, and the exercise of unburdening yourself while thinking of her, are important. I'm grateful for any small joy that keeps me or others going in this hard world! Thanks for writing this (and thanks to your excellent editor for publishing it.)
I’m sure V would love that you still share your thoughts with her. It’s so hard to lose someone special. I talk to my sister, whose ashes are in a small pretty urn on my dresser. Whatever makes you happy ❤️
You know what, Beverly, I think she would, too! She was such a caring person. I’m sorry about your sister, but love the fact you chat to her still. She’s never forgottten. ❤️
I still email a friend who died 2 years ago. We used to email daily &she really "got" me&my situation. &She was a super emailer even sending all her email friends a goodbye email the day before she died
Your turtle brought back memories for me. Thank you xx
In the back of my drawer there are scraps I keep that used to belong to someone I used to know. Scraps that are more real than she ever was, even though she is alive.
Your essay reminded me that we sometimes hold onto things (that don't make sense to others) just to relive moments with the person whom it belongs to, again and again.
Thank you for sharing this lovely and heartbreaking story of your friendship. Losing someone as special as V is so very hard, and finding ways to bring them back into our lives, keeping their spirit alive in our own makes the loss a bit more bearable. I lost my husband to cancer almost five years ago and I still can't delete his Spotify list, or take his name off our streaming services. Reading stories like yours, how we all manage to hold and carry our grief makes me feel far less alone. Thank you (and the turtle :)
Thank you, Shannon, for your lovely comment. I'm so sorry about your husband (f**k cancer - it's taken many people I care about, too), and I definitely hear you on the Spotify and streaming services thing. Things like that can feel so final, can't they?
You're definitely not alone. We all cope in different ways. I often find it useful to remember this paraphrased advice - "Don't be sad they're gone, be happy they were ever around in the first place."
Thank you. Cancer is awful. It is funny how these digital stamps, at first, seem cruel, but after time feel like a sweet reminder. Yes, it's true, I do take some solace in knowing our paths crossed at all and I got to have the time I did with him.
This is beautiful. It helps you remember your friend and keeps the conversation going. I wish she was still here -- sounds like an awesome person. People say it's hard to make and keep friends when older, and I think it's just because of different schedules and priorities, but our friendships should be prioritized, and so should anything that brings us joy or helps us cope. Having an object to remember her by, and the exercise of unburdening yourself while thinking of her, are important. I'm grateful for any small joy that keeps me or others going in this hard world! Thanks for writing this (and thanks to your excellent editor for publishing it.)
Thank you so much your lovely words, Caren - I really appreciate it! I really wish she was still here, too.
I’m sure V would love that you still share your thoughts with her. It’s so hard to lose someone special. I talk to my sister, whose ashes are in a small pretty urn on my dresser. Whatever makes you happy ❤️
You know what, Beverly, I think she would, too! She was such a caring person. I’m sorry about your sister, but love the fact you chat to her still. She’s never forgottten. ❤️
Lucy, thank you. Made me cry.
I still email a friend who died 2 years ago. We used to email daily &she really "got" me&my situation. &She was a super emailer even sending all her email friends a goodbye email the day before she died
Your turtle brought back memories for me. Thank you xx
Thank you, Diane. I cried while writing it, too! I’m sorry about your friend, but glad you also found a way to cope with her loss.
Lucy, this is really beautiful!
In the back of my drawer there are scraps I keep that used to belong to someone I used to know. Scraps that are more real than she ever was, even though she is alive.
Your essay reminded me that we sometimes hold onto things (that don't make sense to others) just to relive moments with the person whom it belongs to, again and again.
Thank you, Adam. Reliving treasured moments with people we care about is precious, isn’t it?
Losing best mates and lifelong friends is a terrible loss. They can never be replaced.
Anything we do to honor the memory of them is worthy.
Thank you, Dianne. It's so kind of you to take the time to comment. And V could definitely never be replaced - she was a one-off! :)
Thank you for sharing this lovely and heartbreaking story of your friendship. Losing someone as special as V is so very hard, and finding ways to bring them back into our lives, keeping their spirit alive in our own makes the loss a bit more bearable. I lost my husband to cancer almost five years ago and I still can't delete his Spotify list, or take his name off our streaming services. Reading stories like yours, how we all manage to hold and carry our grief makes me feel far less alone. Thank you (and the turtle :)
Thank you, Shannon, for your lovely comment. I'm so sorry about your husband (f**k cancer - it's taken many people I care about, too), and I definitely hear you on the Spotify and streaming services thing. Things like that can feel so final, can't they?
You're definitely not alone. We all cope in different ways. I often find it useful to remember this paraphrased advice - "Don't be sad they're gone, be happy they were ever around in the first place."
Thank you. Cancer is awful. It is funny how these digital stamps, at first, seem cruel, but after time feel like a sweet reminder. Yes, it's true, I do take some solace in knowing our paths crossed at all and I got to have the time I did with him.