I was angry for so long w no idea why. It was exhausting. You know what helps? Hahaha. kidding. You DO know what helps. Sometimes the only way through the feelings is through the feelings. Ok, you can slap me for that.
Absolutely! Many people, women especially, grew up believing that good girls don't make scenes and learned to stuff these "negative feelings" with admonitions and endless criticisms from parents, teachers, friends. Humans have a host of emotions, none of them better or worse than others.
"You're so angry!" said an old friend recently. "Damn right!" I responded, "I have every right to be. I'm also compassionate, joyful, anxious, and calm..." When this person continues to take my inventory I limit my contact with her and am happier for it (shouting "f*** you" to her in my mind).
You had me at "caught myself cursing." Oh. My. Precious Lord. This post is manna from heaven. These recent days have season of anger for me that was unrelenting, and this post brought a new way of engaging with my anger. Engaging with a part of me that had been estranged at best. Because I, too “for so long … made myself numb in order to be ‘good.’” (I feel seen.) This is radical imagining anger as being part of our pleasure—what the what? “[I]t can take feeling the full range of your emotions to understand what any of them truly mean” broke open a world of possibilities in personal growth and healing. Thank you so much.
Thank you for reading! I had to really sit with my relationship with anger over the last few years and break out of the ideas I'd been holding about it.
Great article, Athena, and so relevant to me right now (not so much the anger, but def the flare-up of anxiety I'm experiencing.) Thanks!!
Thank you so much for reading!
I was angry for so long w no idea why. It was exhausting. You know what helps? Hahaha. kidding. You DO know what helps. Sometimes the only way through the feelings is through the feelings. Ok, you can slap me for that.
Exactly! Through the feelings!
Absolutely! Many people, women especially, grew up believing that good girls don't make scenes and learned to stuff these "negative feelings" with admonitions and endless criticisms from parents, teachers, friends. Humans have a host of emotions, none of them better or worse than others.
"You're so angry!" said an old friend recently. "Damn right!" I responded, "I have every right to be. I'm also compassionate, joyful, anxious, and calm..." When this person continues to take my inventory I limit my contact with her and am happier for it (shouting "f*** you" to her in my mind).
Great, well written essay....
Exactly! Why do we have to bury our anger? Doing so shortchanges us so much!
You had me at "caught myself cursing." Oh. My. Precious Lord. This post is manna from heaven. These recent days have season of anger for me that was unrelenting, and this post brought a new way of engaging with my anger. Engaging with a part of me that had been estranged at best. Because I, too “for so long … made myself numb in order to be ‘good.’” (I feel seen.) This is radical imagining anger as being part of our pleasure—what the what? “[I]t can take feeling the full range of your emotions to understand what any of them truly mean” broke open a world of possibilities in personal growth and healing. Thank you so much.
Thank you for reading! I had to really sit with my relationship with anger over the last few years and break out of the ideas I'd been holding about it.