This is a beautiful piece and while I am happy for the author's personal realizations, truth be told, I was a little crestfallen to learn that her page is no longer on Instagram. So many of us already feel so alone and need these connections (and representations) now, more than ever.
I am a therapist, writer and international adoptee from Bulgaria of both Bulgarian and Iraqi origin. I am happy to connect with anyone searching for their experiences reflected in writing or on social media @mirellastoyanova on Instagram.
Thank you for reading. I totally agree about needing many connections/representations. I've left my page and content up but set to "private." Thank you also for your work and connections!
I'm also an adopted person (US domestic from Baby Scoop Era) and can appreciate the need for both connection to the adoptee community and space from it. I only became active in it in 2019 and it has benefitted me greatly, literally changed my life. But we also need time to step away and I love that you're focusing on your joy. It is survival. Thank you for sharing your experience and your story in whatever capacity you choose.
Thank you so much, and best wishes to you on your own journey. It's lifelong, and personal. At the same time, it's one of the most rewarding things when we find community together!
Our world is a jigsaw puzzle, and the pieces and their designs are marvels. Some terrifying, some beautiful, all enlightening. How do we become the special solitude we each are?
sabrastarnes (instagram) also does adoption work. She's a therapist, an adopted, and an adoptive parent. You might enjoy her. I sure do. I appreciate the work you are doing.
Adoption is a huge deal. I deliberately chose not to reproduce as there are so many kids needing homes. For me, adopting was not an act of desperation, it was an act of love.
I was taken in by a foster family at 13. This motivated me to adopt a teen out of the system as well as my goddaughter. I was the first in three generations of my family to not have kids taken from them, the first to take in others' kids. My daughter is now considering taking in the little girl of a friend who is dying of a terminal brain tumor. A cycle that I was proud to break, repair, then pass on.
Unfortunately, it is lonely. Most people can't understand the idea of preferring to adopt over reproduce. Of course, if they were being 100% honest, very little of their reproducing was on purpose. Adoptive parents actually have to work to acquire kids, not just forego birth control and then act surprised that a pregnancy happens.
So many people still don't see an adoptive connection as a real one and talking to them is infuriating.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. I appreciate learning different perspectives, especially by adoptees and former foster kids. I agree with how it's a shame to see others sometimes talk of adoption as separate from them, referring to someone's "adoptive" children versus just calling their biological children their children only. Anyone who wants to adopt should take the mindset that all are their children equally!
This is a beautiful piece and while I am happy for the author's personal realizations, truth be told, I was a little crestfallen to learn that her page is no longer on Instagram. So many of us already feel so alone and need these connections (and representations) now, more than ever.
I am a therapist, writer and international adoptee from Bulgaria of both Bulgarian and Iraqi origin. I am happy to connect with anyone searching for their experiences reflected in writing or on social media @mirellastoyanova on Instagram.
Thank you for reading. I totally agree about needing many connections/representations. I've left my page and content up but set to "private." Thank you also for your work and connections!
I'm also an adopted person (US domestic from Baby Scoop Era) and can appreciate the need for both connection to the adoptee community and space from it. I only became active in it in 2019 and it has benefitted me greatly, literally changed my life. But we also need time to step away and I love that you're focusing on your joy. It is survival. Thank you for sharing your experience and your story in whatever capacity you choose.
Thank you so much, and best wishes to you on your own journey. It's lifelong, and personal. At the same time, it's one of the most rewarding things when we find community together!
Our world is a jigsaw puzzle, and the pieces and their designs are marvels. Some terrifying, some beautiful, all enlightening. How do we become the special solitude we each are?
sabrastarnes (instagram) also does adoption work. She's a therapist, an adopted, and an adoptive parent. You might enjoy her. I sure do. I appreciate the work you are doing.
Thank you, I will definitely check her out!
Adoption is a huge deal. I deliberately chose not to reproduce as there are so many kids needing homes. For me, adopting was not an act of desperation, it was an act of love.
I was taken in by a foster family at 13. This motivated me to adopt a teen out of the system as well as my goddaughter. I was the first in three generations of my family to not have kids taken from them, the first to take in others' kids. My daughter is now considering taking in the little girl of a friend who is dying of a terminal brain tumor. A cycle that I was proud to break, repair, then pass on.
Unfortunately, it is lonely. Most people can't understand the idea of preferring to adopt over reproduce. Of course, if they were being 100% honest, very little of their reproducing was on purpose. Adoptive parents actually have to work to acquire kids, not just forego birth control and then act surprised that a pregnancy happens.
So many people still don't see an adoptive connection as a real one and talking to them is infuriating.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. I appreciate learning different perspectives, especially by adoptees and former foster kids. I agree with how it's a shame to see others sometimes talk of adoption as separate from them, referring to someone's "adoptive" children versus just calling their biological children their children only. Anyone who wants to adopt should take the mindset that all are their children equally!