Great article, and so well written! I think you’ve managed to convey the experience in a way that validates people going through similar things and that educates everyone else.
Understandable! Your perspective shares feelings and situations that are not generally discussed but are nonetheless quite universal, normal, and relatable. My Dad has Alzheimers, and I spent many years being the primary caregiver for someone with a severe cognitive and physical disability, so I really appreciated your courage in portraying the full experience, and the full range of emotions and their context. I'm currently trying to finish edits on my debut novel, which explores the challenges and perhaps darker side of caregiving. Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your articles!
Fantastically written, @olivetree, just as glamorous Hilary would have wanted. We're losing my aunt like this right now, and you've captured the phases of this disease so well. When you see someone you love suffering, the tension between wanting to keep them forever and wanting to never see them like this again is absolutely agonizing. Thank you for your candor about this.
Hilary the glamour nana would be pleased I think! It can be really tough and my heart goes out to anyone who is going through it with a relative. Thank you for making me feel more confident about sharing, it really means a lot.
As someone who also grew up living partially with my grandmother, I really appreciated this piece. Beautifully written, it conveys the conflicting emotions of watching someone decline so heartbreakingly at the end of life. I saw it with both my grandparents, and hope it's something I can spare my own children. Thanks for sharing this!
Absolutely lovely and so heart-felt. Yes, I'm fortunate that neither of my parents had diminished mental capacity, but even without that, I found it difficult. I was just too self-centred, too young and full of myself to recognize that they were in their last years.
I appreciate every word of this essay which must have been difficult to write because coming to the place at which you've now arrived is itself a difficult journey. You would not have traveled it at all without the love you convey so beautifully throughout. I am among the many reading this who have loved ones who had some form of dementia. I found myself in your words. I am grateful.
Well done only a skillful writer can convey such a heavy subject with humor and grace. I had a similar relationship with my Gma and was also relieved when she died. I knew she wanted to go.
Beautifully written. I remember feeling similarly when my grandfather was suffering with Alzheimer’s, even though I wasn’t as involved in his care. The guilt when he and my grandmother died within weeks of each other was immense and I still miss them, over 30 years later. I appreciate so much when writers aren’t afraid to say the quiet, hard parts out loud, as you have, with grace and compassion for our messy humanity.
Hearing other people's stories is really touching. Grandparents can be such treasures. Thank you for your kind words, these comments have really cemented that it was a good idea to go ahead and share.
It's amazing how many of us grow up with similiar experiences -worlds apart- yet we come out differently.
May God pity the one who, in their mercy, must wear cruelty to the end. Have you thought about sharing a fiction story to "After Dinner Conversations"?
Great article, and so well written! I think you’ve managed to convey the experience in a way that validates people going through similar things and that educates everyone else.
I was quite nervous about sharing this but your comment was the first one I read and it has made it worth it. Thank you
Understandable! Your perspective shares feelings and situations that are not generally discussed but are nonetheless quite universal, normal, and relatable. My Dad has Alzheimers, and I spent many years being the primary caregiver for someone with a severe cognitive and physical disability, so I really appreciated your courage in portraying the full experience, and the full range of emotions and their context. I'm currently trying to finish edits on my debut novel, which explores the challenges and perhaps darker side of caregiving. Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your articles!
its certainly a tough topic to be candid about - but what a positive experience I've had!
Fantastically written, @olivetree, just as glamorous Hilary would have wanted. We're losing my aunt like this right now, and you've captured the phases of this disease so well. When you see someone you love suffering, the tension between wanting to keep them forever and wanting to never see them like this again is absolutely agonizing. Thank you for your candor about this.
Hilary the glamour nana would be pleased I think! It can be really tough and my heart goes out to anyone who is going through it with a relative. Thank you for making me feel more confident about sharing, it really means a lot.
As someone who also grew up living partially with my grandmother, I really appreciated this piece. Beautifully written, it conveys the conflicting emotions of watching someone decline so heartbreakingly at the end of life. I saw it with both my grandparents, and hope it's something I can spare my own children. Thanks for sharing this!
Absolutely lovely and so heart-felt. Yes, I'm fortunate that neither of my parents had diminished mental capacity, but even without that, I found it difficult. I was just too self-centred, too young and full of myself to recognize that they were in their last years.
Thank you! its so heart warming and touching reading these comments
I appreciate every word of this essay which must have been difficult to write because coming to the place at which you've now arrived is itself a difficult journey. You would not have traveled it at all without the love you convey so beautifully throughout. I am among the many reading this who have loved ones who had some form of dementia. I found myself in your words. I am grateful.
Thank you, Elizabeth. Truly. These comments are so so lovely to read. Hilary would be proud
Thank you for sharing your story with such vulnerability and bravery. ♥
Laughed and cried ❤️
Thank you Lucy!
Well done only a skillful writer can convey such a heavy subject with humor and grace. I had a similar relationship with my Gma and was also relieved when she died. I knew she wanted to go.
I love the names we all have for our grandparents. I'm Welsh and we should say Mam'Gi but my grandma thought herself to glamourous for that
Beautifully written. I remember feeling similarly when my grandfather was suffering with Alzheimer’s, even though I wasn’t as involved in his care. The guilt when he and my grandmother died within weeks of each other was immense and I still miss them, over 30 years later. I appreciate so much when writers aren’t afraid to say the quiet, hard parts out loud, as you have, with grace and compassion for our messy humanity.
Hearing other people's stories is really touching. Grandparents can be such treasures. Thank you for your kind words, these comments have really cemented that it was a good idea to go ahead and share.
Heartbreaking and so honest. I'm going through this now. I love, The Long Hello.
Thank you Sallie, its a tough one, and I hope you find those bitter-sweet moments too
I do find actually very sweet moments, along with flashes of panic, rage, and outrage. It's an interesting time of life.
you've nailed it there
I appreciate your honesty and love and frustration, such an impossible combination. I'm in the beginning stages of this journey with my father.
Colleen, it is certainly difficult. If strangers on the internet are anything to go by - you have many people who have your back on this one.
It's amazing how many of us grow up with similiar experiences -worlds apart- yet we come out differently.
May God pity the one who, in their mercy, must wear cruelty to the end. Have you thought about sharing a fiction story to "After Dinner Conversations"?
Thanks Adam, I hadn't considered it no, but I will certainly check it out from your rec!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece that brought me to tears.
Thank you ! ❤️
Funny, my mom constantly complained about her birthday as well; December 26th! Wonderful post!
I mean… that a tough one ! Still won’t concede 2nd January though
Lovely !!
thanks Jack!