I, too, was deeply moved by Baby Reindeer. I was in awe that a fellow survivor shared the contradictions, confusion, and double consciousness that occurs in tsituations in which we feel deeply violated and so many others feelings at the same time. But our body and time tells the story that we try to bury. You did such a beautiful job of sharing with us your edgy, curious, playful self that loses his bearings and spins out of control. I've been there. This was very moving.
I think the show brought me deeply to the dark place in myself that seeks growth, but which spirals downward if I am not nurtured and if I don't nurture that spark in myself and others. Like a plant heading down to the roots instead of up and out.
I know my own growth was stymied by abuse and it was stifled by criticism.
And when I was young and sometimes later it was easier to hang with the bad crowd because I didn't need to fear what they would think when they found the 'real me'. Bad was the real me. Or so I thought. It felt kind of comfortable, but it was also hazy and dare I say, lazy.
I started to realise I needed to expect more of myself. I learned that I actually I deserved to be better, to fare better, to act better, I grew. When I started being real and stopped being fake, I grew.
Society tells us not to be our real selves. But the real self grows out, towards the light. It does not return to the shell to shrivel.
For me, the heroes of all our stories, and the heroes of the Baby Reindeer story, are the people who show up in life because they want us to be our best selves and they want that for themselves too. Real friendship isn't about taking or draining.
Real friendship comes from people who accept us but who also expect that we will learn to love ourselves.
I watched Baby Reindeer with my 18 year old daughter and her best friend. What I watched happen with the best friend was scary. We both have been abused. We both cried as we watched.
She became silent. I’m hoping we can talk more about what happened in the show but also our lives.
Beautiful writing. It’s good to be reminded we are normal at 80% but that is also so so sad.
I, too, was deeply moved by Baby Reindeer. I was in awe that a fellow survivor shared the contradictions, confusion, and double consciousness that occurs in tsituations in which we feel deeply violated and so many others feelings at the same time. But our body and time tells the story that we try to bury. You did such a beautiful job of sharing with us your edgy, curious, playful self that loses his bearings and spins out of control. I've been there. This was very moving.
So much of this resonates for me, thank you.
I think the show brought me deeply to the dark place in myself that seeks growth, but which spirals downward if I am not nurtured and if I don't nurture that spark in myself and others. Like a plant heading down to the roots instead of up and out.
I know my own growth was stymied by abuse and it was stifled by criticism.
And when I was young and sometimes later it was easier to hang with the bad crowd because I didn't need to fear what they would think when they found the 'real me'. Bad was the real me. Or so I thought. It felt kind of comfortable, but it was also hazy and dare I say, lazy.
I started to realise I needed to expect more of myself. I learned that I actually I deserved to be better, to fare better, to act better, I grew. When I started being real and stopped being fake, I grew.
Society tells us not to be our real selves. But the real self grows out, towards the light. It does not return to the shell to shrivel.
For me, the heroes of all our stories, and the heroes of the Baby Reindeer story, are the people who show up in life because they want us to be our best selves and they want that for themselves too. Real friendship isn't about taking or draining.
Real friendship comes from people who accept us but who also expect that we will learn to love ourselves.
We can be those people to others.
I watched Baby Reindeer with my 18 year old daughter and her best friend. What I watched happen with the best friend was scary. We both have been abused. We both cried as we watched.
She became silent. I’m hoping we can talk more about what happened in the show but also our lives.
Beautiful writing. It’s good to be reminded we are normal at 80% but that is also so so sad.
Loved this show. So much truth. Thanks for your piece here it really touched me.