Thank you for writing with such honesty and vulnerability. It’s so important that we don’t hide in shame. In my late teens and twenties I struggled with bulimia as well. Later, one of my four children struggled with anorexia, including a 4 month in-patient stay. Alcohol also plagued me, but later in life after divorce (quit and now help others break free from booze). I’m glad you have your sister and I hope you keep plugging away at your memoir. You’re a fantastic writer and clearly have an important story to tell.
So much of this is so very very familiar, right down to the animal cracker tubs and the sugary cereals that were the meals I (over) fed myself as a kid at home, alone.
This is why we need stories-- I too have suffered from Bulimia but never considered what it might be like for others on government assistance. It breaks my heart. I'm sure it perpetuates the addiction in so many ways. I've been "clean" from binging and purging for who knows how long. I don't keep track-- I simply do not remember the last time. I promise this is possible. I've done so much work on myself yet it never ends. Sometimes it feels like a bottomless pit that was once my appetite. The beauty of being human.
One of the most effective and profound things any mental health professional told me was the first time I ever reached out for help: "it's never about the food." I'd imagine with an upbringing circling around scarcity, those feelings of being unsafe have rippled through your life. I'm so sorry this has happened, yet I'm grateful for your bravery to share your story. Huge hug. You're not alone!
So glad you’re doing better! It’s hard for me to remember the periods of remission when I’m in the thick of a bulimia relapse, but I know they’re possible. Do you still struggle with the thoughts?
I appreciate this essay and its honesty to say “I still struggle with this”. It’s so easy to want to tie our writing up in neat bows and declare resolve, but this hits harder and is more real for it. Thank you.
So very painful to read—but I am grateful to you for writing and for sharing. I now want to read your trauma work. Can’t help but think about the religious life play into all of it. 🙄
Your account makes my memories of bulimia only a hiccup. I am also involved with a group working to help people with religious trauma. There are my connections.
Thank you for writing with such honesty and vulnerability. It’s so important that we don’t hide in shame. In my late teens and twenties I struggled with bulimia as well. Later, one of my four children struggled with anorexia, including a 4 month in-patient stay. Alcohol also plagued me, but later in life after divorce (quit and now help others break free from booze). I’m glad you have your sister and I hope you keep plugging away at your memoir. You’re a fantastic writer and clearly have an important story to tell.
Thank you so much 🖤 My mother also survived anorexia and alcoholism and I can tell it plagues her that her child is going through the same thing.
I get it!
So much of this is so very very familiar, right down to the animal cracker tubs and the sugary cereals that were the meals I (over) fed myself as a kid at home, alone.
And I equated thinness with being rich so that was an added twist. When I felt poor, I binged. Rich meant restraint. All backasswards.
I can't believe I never touched on that!! Spot on.
This is why we need stories-- I too have suffered from Bulimia but never considered what it might be like for others on government assistance. It breaks my heart. I'm sure it perpetuates the addiction in so many ways. I've been "clean" from binging and purging for who knows how long. I don't keep track-- I simply do not remember the last time. I promise this is possible. I've done so much work on myself yet it never ends. Sometimes it feels like a bottomless pit that was once my appetite. The beauty of being human.
One of the most effective and profound things any mental health professional told me was the first time I ever reached out for help: "it's never about the food." I'd imagine with an upbringing circling around scarcity, those feelings of being unsafe have rippled through your life. I'm so sorry this has happened, yet I'm grateful for your bravery to share your story. Huge hug. You're not alone!
So glad you’re doing better! It’s hard for me to remember the periods of remission when I’m in the thick of a bulimia relapse, but I know they’re possible. Do you still struggle with the thoughts?
I appreciate this essay and its honesty to say “I still struggle with this”. It’s so easy to want to tie our writing up in neat bows and declare resolve, but this hits harder and is more real for it. Thank you.
We thought so too and definitely want to publish more essays that don’t tie everything up neatly.
I have often been accused of trying to wrap up everything in a neat little positive bow, so this comment means a lot! haha
So very painful to read—but I am grateful to you for writing and for sharing. I now want to read your trauma work. Can’t help but think about the religious life play into all of it. 🙄
Don't say I didn't warn you! haha
Your account makes my memories of bulimia only a hiccup. I am also involved with a group working to help people with religious trauma. There are my connections.
This is a really powerful piece. Thank you for sharing
🖤
So clear and so relateable.
🖤