13 Comments

Thank you for this deeply moving essay. I'm almost at a loss for words after reading it. I appreciate your sharing so personal an experience, and feel sorry for your loss—including your missed opportunities. But I hope you don't blame yourself for them. You have kept Ron in your memory and shared that memory with us. After reading your essay, I feel I got a chance to meet and admire both of you.

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Lynette, thank you so much for taking the time to write this comment. I truly appreciate it. The process of crafting the essay (which took four years) did help me forgive my young, ignorant self. And I have seen that the essay honors his memory, which makes me happy and proud.

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"I wept at the pressure I’d put on him to join my fantasy, realizing that I’d had the chance to know him and missed it altogether." This got me. Great storytelling, Stephanie!

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Thank you Amy. I am so glad

this piece is out in the world and is resonating with so many people.

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Beautiful piece, beautiful ending. Nearly made me cry myself. It's been a long time since I've thought about just how many people died of AIDS so young, and the families and loves they didn't get to have. Yet, some people wish for that time of silence again. I'm glad you have such good memories of Ron.

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Such a lovely essay, Stephanie. How

evocative music is! I’m subscribing to this substack because of your essay.

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Thank you so much! It's a wonderful publication.

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So incredibly evocative of an era. As someone who worked in the arts from the mid '80s to mid '90s, I never viewed Covid as the first plague we've had to live through. Thanks for this touching post, in time for Day Without Art.

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I have two family members with HIV. Thank God for Biktarvy. I'm sorry that other congregants made you feel shame for having been molested by your father. That was far from wrong--it's downright sinful. Once again, it's not God, it's people that drive folks away from houses of worship. We mustn't blame God for the ignorance of fallible humans.

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I enjoyed reading every word. Thank you for sharing, Stephanie!

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Powerful, moving, magnificent!

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I loved that story and it's soundtrack. I'll never hear the Avalon album the same again. Thank you Stephanie.

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Consider sharing this with https://www.instagram.com/theaidsmemorial/ They do a great job of remembering and honoring the many people who died and I think it could be a great way to amplify this story.

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