This is so powerfully written, Tracey. Secrets, once in the open, can hold layers of emotion. You articulate that so well here.
I wonder if you follow Kimberly Warner here on Substack? Her recently published book titled, Unfixed, contains a similar story line. She discovers in adulthood that the dad who raised her is not her biological father.
The body knew before the story did. That’s what makes this so moving — not just the discovery of a secret, but the way truth rearranged how she understood belonging, family, and herself. Beautiful, thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Tracey. Your story really stayed with me — not just the discovery, but the way one piece of truth can shift how we understand an entire life.
Love your essay! I was raised by friends of my biological parents (long story) and never fit in… you captured that feeling so well. Then years ago, my husband discovered he had a niece we didn’t know about; her hubby reached out to me on socials since they are Luddites. She was in her 40s and got to meet her biological grandmother though my brother-in-law had died. She always thought she was Italian! She attended her first Bat Mitzvah last summer!
It's a surreal experience seeing yourself in stranger's faces! I couldn't look in a mirror, or at my kids, for many months without jumping out of my skin.
I spent my 20s and 30s in love and living with a man that was 100% Italian and liked everything about him and his family....the food (ooh!), the open love and affection (kissing hello and goodbye without fail), the closeness, the openness, the laughter, all of it. I wanted to be Italian! We spent lots of time w/ his little half-sister (his mom's child with her second husband, also Italian). People often thought she was our own daughter. I even appreciated his bursts of anger , expressed, then quickly forgotten, quite different from the silent treatment and long grudges held by members of my family. Lucky you....
It didn't feel lucky at all at the time –– it's quite the traumatic experience –– but I am glad to have found out, and to have the opportunity to explore my Italian roots. :)
Fellow NPE here! 💖 I’m so glad you’re writing about it and telling secrets. I enjoyed (seems a loaded word to use considering how traumatic this is) reading about your discovery day. I write about NPE stuff on my Substack too, maybe we can be of support to one another. My NPE recovery book is set to launch Sept 15, 26. Happy to have met another NPE here! ~ Meaghan
Thanks, Meaghan! I'm glad you're also writing about the experience –– everyone's is different, and yes, traumatic. Congrats on your upcoming book launch –– how exciting!
What a beautifully written, incredible story! DNA holds so many secrets!
Thanks, Janine!
I LOVE this! What a life altering experience, but for the good. Enjoy all the rest of it for a long time!
Thanks, christina!
Well done Cugina!
Grazie, Rachel!
Glad you found yourself and feel more free
Amazing essay, Tracey. So glad you're finding and sharing your story.
Thanks Debbie!
😲! Brilliant! 👌🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Great piece!! Congrats
Thanks, Peg!
You’ll no doubt relate to my story, “Resurrecting My Mother’s Ghosts” coming out this Friday May 1st.
This is so powerfully written, Tracey. Secrets, once in the open, can hold layers of emotion. You articulate that so well here.
I wonder if you follow Kimberly Warner here on Substack? Her recently published book titled, Unfixed, contains a similar story line. She discovers in adulthood that the dad who raised her is not her biological father.
Thanks, Allison. I do follow her, and I just finished her memoir a couple days ago. ☺️
Whew I feel all of this. Simultaneously cracked open and put back together by all of this mess, too. Thank you for sharing! It matters.
Thanks, Holly. It was a tough re-wiring that I’m now grateful for!
I can only imagine. It’s still tough for me to put it all into words. You did so very beautifully!
Writing has helped me through the process. 🥹
The body knew before the story did. That’s what makes this so moving — not just the discovery of a secret, but the way truth rearranged how she understood belonging, family, and herself. Beautiful, thank you for sharing.
So insightful, thanks Regina!
Thank you, Tracey. Your story really stayed with me — not just the discovery, but the way one piece of truth can shift how we understand an entire life.
☺️
Love your essay! I was raised by friends of my biological parents (long story) and never fit in… you captured that feeling so well. Then years ago, my husband discovered he had a niece we didn’t know about; her hubby reached out to me on socials since they are Luddites. She was in her 40s and got to meet her biological grandmother though my brother-in-law had died. She always thought she was Italian! She attended her first Bat Mitzvah last summer!
Thanks, Christine. So nice that she had the opportunity to meet her bio-grandmother!
And comparing pictures of my Mother-in-law and our niece in their 20s, they could be twins.
It's a surreal experience seeing yourself in stranger's faces! I couldn't look in a mirror, or at my kids, for many months without jumping out of my skin.
I spent my 20s and 30s in love and living with a man that was 100% Italian and liked everything about him and his family....the food (ooh!), the open love and affection (kissing hello and goodbye without fail), the closeness, the openness, the laughter, all of it. I wanted to be Italian! We spent lots of time w/ his little half-sister (his mom's child with her second husband, also Italian). People often thought she was our own daughter. I even appreciated his bursts of anger , expressed, then quickly forgotten, quite different from the silent treatment and long grudges held by members of my family. Lucky you....
It didn't feel lucky at all at the time –– it's quite the traumatic experience –– but I am glad to have found out, and to have the opportunity to explore my Italian roots. :)
I get that.
Fellow NPE here! 💖 I’m so glad you’re writing about it and telling secrets. I enjoyed (seems a loaded word to use considering how traumatic this is) reading about your discovery day. I write about NPE stuff on my Substack too, maybe we can be of support to one another. My NPE recovery book is set to launch Sept 15, 26. Happy to have met another NPE here! ~ Meaghan
Thanks, Meaghan! I'm glad you're also writing about the experience –– everyone's is different, and yes, traumatic. Congrats on your upcoming book launch –– how exciting!