Amie, absolutely beautiful piece. I hear you. I see you. I get it. My ED expressed itself lots of different ways over my entire lifetime. And I've done all the kinds, but my primary ED is about sedating my feelings with food. I don't do that anymore, and have utilized tools like therapy, 12-step. I opted out of bariatric surgery because I knew that until I got to the root of my disease, (which was most definitely Complex PTSD, coupled with a dysfunctional culture we all live in) I'd be the best at losing all the weight post-surgery, but I'd also be one of those people who gained it all back and then-some, and I told the surgeon as much. And yes, I did end up opting into the GLP-1s in combination with my other tools. Not about getting skinny, but of availing myself of an entire toolkit for recovery. The whole experience has given me the life I've always wanted to live, and I'm thriving, finally. It's about 9 days until my 65th birthday, and I'm happier than I've ever been. And I'm still a fat woman. And I'm okay with that. I'm healthy, and I love myself. Looking at the dysfunction that instilled the behavior has been the thing that set me free. So glad to meet you today! xo
Nan!! Thank you for sharing. I am so thrilled you're feeling good and are healthy. And f*** yes to knowing yourself and what tools will work for you & your unique and beautiful self!! Great to meet you also and look forward to more!
My younger sister, Renee, suffered for years. As a teen she had a fabulous body, in perfect proportion. I don't know what triggered her lifelong struggle with anorexia and bulimia. She moved to CA while I was in college and we didn't meet up again until I moved to LA in the early seventies to secure a teaching job. At that time she was OK, I think. We lost touch again when she married and moved to AZ and I moved back to NY. I saw her a few times at Christmas after my parents retired to San Diego in the 90's. I was shocked when I saw her. She was skin and bones, weighed about 90 lbs, and had new teeth, as hers had rotted away for vomiting after eating. (TG I didn't observe this first hand). Everyone, but me, said nothing about her transformation. When I questioned our mother she said, "Renee eats all the time when she's here." DUH. I don't believe she ever sought help. A few years ago she went to the ER for pain, was shot up with morphine, went into a coma, and was declared brain dead. What a horrible end for a smart, beautiful woman who had worked her way from receptionist to production manager in a top LA advertising firm.
My other sister and I made the decision to "pull the plug" and donate her body to science.
Oh, Dianne. Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry. Anorexia is one of the deadliest mental illnesses and it’s devastating that we don’t have more of a focus on prevention and treatment. Eating disorders are a public health crisis. Everyone knows someone with an eating disorder (or has suffered from one themselves). Sending you and your family lots of love and I appreciate you sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your story. No one seems to understand that an ED is a disease that is tackled everyday. Every day is a challenge, no matter how old or what day of the week or who you are with. Every piece of food or drink we put into our body is a choice, a decision, something we always think about.
My disorder began in high school and I find myself going through waves with over exercise and food choices. I have been using my art as an outlet for those moments.
Thank you for sharing, Zoraida. I completely agree with you. It’s so hard to convey to people how all consuming eating disorders are. And that, while the causes are complex, they are a mental health disorder. It is so difficult to find healing when, of course, we have to eat, we are immersed in a culture that thinks exercise and thinness automatically equate to being healthy, and girls and women are taught that our value
lies in what we look like. I think the more we discuss eating disorders openly and share our stories, the harder it becomes for people to ignore the public health crisis they are.
A love letter, indeed, Amie. Before I knew we shared this struggle, I always admired your fierce commitment to your family, vision, and deep humanity. You are truly in service and inspiring. Grateful to have you as a sister-in-recovery. We're better together.
Thank you so much for sharing this so beautifully. I can tell you know all too well that recovery isn’t linear - It’s the direction we’re headed that matters, not where we are at a given time. Thank again, Amie :)
Oh Amie - I haven’t connected with you in so long and am so grateful to have seen your LinkedIn post with your beautifully written, tragic and inspiring story. (Sadly I lost a family member to anorexia.) You are one badass mama and I really appreciate that you are on the recovery journey and supporting others along the way. So much love!
Thank you, Melissa! I am so sorry you lost someone to anorexia and am continually saddened and amazed at how many people I know who have been personally impacted, I really appreciate you sharing and I am sending love to you!
Amie, absolutely beautiful piece. I hear you. I see you. I get it. My ED expressed itself lots of different ways over my entire lifetime. And I've done all the kinds, but my primary ED is about sedating my feelings with food. I don't do that anymore, and have utilized tools like therapy, 12-step. I opted out of bariatric surgery because I knew that until I got to the root of my disease, (which was most definitely Complex PTSD, coupled with a dysfunctional culture we all live in) I'd be the best at losing all the weight post-surgery, but I'd also be one of those people who gained it all back and then-some, and I told the surgeon as much. And yes, I did end up opting into the GLP-1s in combination with my other tools. Not about getting skinny, but of availing myself of an entire toolkit for recovery. The whole experience has given me the life I've always wanted to live, and I'm thriving, finally. It's about 9 days until my 65th birthday, and I'm happier than I've ever been. And I'm still a fat woman. And I'm okay with that. I'm healthy, and I love myself. Looking at the dysfunction that instilled the behavior has been the thing that set me free. So glad to meet you today! xo
Nan!! Thank you for sharing. I am so thrilled you're feeling good and are healthy. And f*** yes to knowing yourself and what tools will work for you & your unique and beautiful self!! Great to meet you also and look forward to more!
So happy that you finally got help.
My younger sister, Renee, suffered for years. As a teen she had a fabulous body, in perfect proportion. I don't know what triggered her lifelong struggle with anorexia and bulimia. She moved to CA while I was in college and we didn't meet up again until I moved to LA in the early seventies to secure a teaching job. At that time she was OK, I think. We lost touch again when she married and moved to AZ and I moved back to NY. I saw her a few times at Christmas after my parents retired to San Diego in the 90's. I was shocked when I saw her. She was skin and bones, weighed about 90 lbs, and had new teeth, as hers had rotted away for vomiting after eating. (TG I didn't observe this first hand). Everyone, but me, said nothing about her transformation. When I questioned our mother she said, "Renee eats all the time when she's here." DUH. I don't believe she ever sought help. A few years ago she went to the ER for pain, was shot up with morphine, went into a coma, and was declared brain dead. What a horrible end for a smart, beautiful woman who had worked her way from receptionist to production manager in a top LA advertising firm.
My other sister and I made the decision to "pull the plug" and donate her body to science.
Oh, Dianne. Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry. Anorexia is one of the deadliest mental illnesses and it’s devastating that we don’t have more of a focus on prevention and treatment. Eating disorders are a public health crisis. Everyone knows someone with an eating disorder (or has suffered from one themselves). Sending you and your family lots of love and I appreciate you sharing your story.
Please feel free to use this in your book.....
Thank you for sharing your story. No one seems to understand that an ED is a disease that is tackled everyday. Every day is a challenge, no matter how old or what day of the week or who you are with. Every piece of food or drink we put into our body is a choice, a decision, something we always think about.
My disorder began in high school and I find myself going through waves with over exercise and food choices. I have been using my art as an outlet for those moments.
Thank you for sharing, Zoraida. I completely agree with you. It’s so hard to convey to people how all consuming eating disorders are. And that, while the causes are complex, they are a mental health disorder. It is so difficult to find healing when, of course, we have to eat, we are immersed in a culture that thinks exercise and thinness automatically equate to being healthy, and girls and women are taught that our value
lies in what we look like. I think the more we discuss eating disorders openly and share our stories, the harder it becomes for people to ignore the public health crisis they are.
Such a courageous and brave piece, Amie. And such a courageous and brave person!
Thanks for being such a fab sounding board and creative partner in this work!!
Thanks for sharing, Amie
A love letter, indeed, Amie. Before I knew we shared this struggle, I always admired your fierce commitment to your family, vision, and deep humanity. You are truly in service and inspiring. Grateful to have you as a sister-in-recovery. We're better together.
Dawn!! Back at you. I love and honor your strength, courage and fierceness and am so grateful we can find connection in our shared journeys.
Love this and love Amie 🖤
Christina!! Back at you!
Thank you so much for sharing this so beautifully. I can tell you know all too well that recovery isn’t linear - It’s the direction we’re headed that matters, not where we are at a given time. Thank again, Amie :)
Thank you, Ian. I love that: “It’s the direction we’re headed that matters, not where we are at a given time.” I will remember this!
Incredibly relatable. Thank you.
Thanks for reading, Christina!
Oh Amie - I haven’t connected with you in so long and am so grateful to have seen your LinkedIn post with your beautifully written, tragic and inspiring story. (Sadly I lost a family member to anorexia.) You are one badass mama and I really appreciate that you are on the recovery journey and supporting others along the way. So much love!
Thank you, Melissa! I am so sorry you lost someone to anorexia and am continually saddened and amazed at how many people I know who have been personally impacted, I really appreciate you sharing and I am sending love to you!