Saving my hospital socks during infertility was a balm for my grief. They taught me a lesson about how possessions can define us, and what it means when our relationship with them changes
I'd never heard the thing about keeping the feet warm, but I completely understand the need to 'try everything.' For me it was eating pineapple core, reflexology, acupuncture...... I hated the abbreviations on fertility sites; it was a whole new language to learn in a club noone wanted to be a member of. In Birmingham, U.K the NHS gives you one free I.V.F go and I remember they only managed to retrieve 5 eggs and none of them were up to the required standard. Our hopes were crushed in that minute. It was soul-destroying. We got a call the next morning. Overnight one had become viable, low-grade but viable! Our daughter is almost 10 and I'm the luckiest mom in the world!
Congratulations on becoming a mom. Reading your piece reminded me of the grief I felt when we decided to have a child. My issue was not getting pregnant - it was staying pregnant. But with each loss also came a release of control. When I became pregnant with my son, the early days were touch-and-go. Instead of fiercely thinking I could will my way to a full-term baby, I let go and prepared to accept whatever lay ahead. Months later, I gave birth to a healthy, 9-lb. baby boy. Letting go of control doesn't mean you get what you want, but it's a way of "accepting the things I cannot change" (or control).
I'd never heard the thing about keeping the feet warm, but I completely understand the need to 'try everything.' For me it was eating pineapple core, reflexology, acupuncture...... I hated the abbreviations on fertility sites; it was a whole new language to learn in a club noone wanted to be a member of. In Birmingham, U.K the NHS gives you one free I.V.F go and I remember they only managed to retrieve 5 eggs and none of them were up to the required standard. Our hopes were crushed in that minute. It was soul-destroying. We got a call the next morning. Overnight one had become viable, low-grade but viable! Our daughter is almost 10 and I'm the luckiest mom in the world!
Congratulations on becoming a mom. Reading your piece reminded me of the grief I felt when we decided to have a child. My issue was not getting pregnant - it was staying pregnant. But with each loss also came a release of control. When I became pregnant with my son, the early days were touch-and-go. Instead of fiercely thinking I could will my way to a full-term baby, I let go and prepared to accept whatever lay ahead. Months later, I gave birth to a healthy, 9-lb. baby boy. Letting go of control doesn't mean you get what you want, but it's a way of "accepting the things I cannot change" (or control).
I'd never heard of the feet warming, either (as Emma T-T said); only about the man keeping his privates warm. Glad the last try worked for you!
Congratulations on your daughter. I’m so sorry for all the trials you had to go through before you had her. Thank you for a lovely essay.