Ahhh, I've recently lost both my parents and they were also extreme hoarders. It took my brother and I the better part of a year to clear out their place. I understand the finding of birthday candles and Playmobil and receipts from the 70s. Leather jackets and Gucci shoes. I'm sorry you lost your father so suddenly but I'm glad you wrote these words. It's a beautiful essay and today when I go out into the world I will carry it with me.
My father died a year and a half ago. I was his primary caregiver for over three years. I somehow discovered the book Swedish Death Cleaning. But most importantly, your words really rang through with me. I’ve been saying since my father died I don’t have connection like I did in the past to my things. They’re just things and I just wanna get rid of everything and be free while I’m living. I thank you so much for this Substack.
That is serendipitous that you found that book! I feel exactly the same way, that it's just "stuff" and getting rid of it is actually freeing and doesnt feel like emptiness. Thank you for reading my story.
I am so sorry for your loss. Having to spend a year clearing out your parents' place must have been so physically and emotionally draining. You carrying these words with you into the world means the world to me - that's why I write ❤️.
What a great share - so sorry for the loss of your dear Dad. The black jacket that was “never his or yours either,” is a wonderful real life metaphor about what is most important in life. Hugs
Beautiful essay with wisdom we can all use. My brother in law passed away last week. He was a fashion freak. I knew he had nice clothes but I didn't realize how many. He was a large guy, so the thought of keeping a nice shirt, sweater or jacket was not practical. My wife and I bagged 24 bags of clothes and donated them to the mission on Spadina. They were very grateful. Ain's essay resonates with me regarding the personal value of things. When I go, I may have 3 bags of clothes, but a million bags of precious memories that only my lovely wife will retain.
I am sorry for the loss of your brother in law. We also didn't know what to do with most of my dad's things, size being an issue too. Having the mindset that you have about possessions and memories is the way to go. I too hope to keep my life simple.
My mother once said she'd spent half her life spending and half her life giving it all away. This was not entirely true as I found closets full of unopened boxes filled with small appliances, collectibles, junk, and 3 crammed full of clothes, shoes, and purses. She also had two tall furniture pieces designed for jewelry alone.
It took her four adult children weeks to toss, give away, and sell, a burden no one should have to suffer.
My mom said the exact same thing! She said, "first half of your life you make money to buy all these things and second half of life, you're desperate to give them away". She too still has a lot leftover and I am not looking forward to having to dispose of it one day.
Thanks. I don't usually give others advice because I don't appreciate it when I get it! I suppose I have learned after decades that worrying is pointless.....
Ahhh, I've recently lost both my parents and they were also extreme hoarders. It took my brother and I the better part of a year to clear out their place. I understand the finding of birthday candles and Playmobil and receipts from the 70s. Leather jackets and Gucci shoes. I'm sorry you lost your father so suddenly but I'm glad you wrote these words. It's a beautiful essay and today when I go out into the world I will carry it with me.
My father died a year and a half ago. I was his primary caregiver for over three years. I somehow discovered the book Swedish Death Cleaning. But most importantly, your words really rang through with me. I’ve been saying since my father died I don’t have connection like I did in the past to my things. They’re just things and I just wanna get rid of everything and be free while I’m living. I thank you so much for this Substack.
That is serendipitous that you found that book! I feel exactly the same way, that it's just "stuff" and getting rid of it is actually freeing and doesnt feel like emptiness. Thank you for reading my story.
I am so sorry for your loss. Having to spend a year clearing out your parents' place must have been so physically and emotionally draining. You carrying these words with you into the world means the world to me - that's why I write ❤️.
A beautiful piece of writing. I saw it all, from the closet, to mom's giveaways, to the nephew and his new jacket.
I am so glad this resonated with you.
It was simultaneously his and not his.
What a beautiful read this was! It is written with humor, and love, about a topic that is so hard to express.
Thank you hun❤️
Beautiful, poignant essay. Thank you for writing and sharing it.
Thank you so much, your appreciation means the world.
Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate the new life the coat was given and the opportunity for someone else to love and benefit from it.
Thank you for reading and appreciating it!
What a great share - so sorry for the loss of your dear Dad. The black jacket that was “never his or yours either,” is a wonderful real life metaphor about what is most important in life. Hugs
Nothing we own is really ours at the end of it all is what i learned. Thank you for sweet comment ❤️
Beautiful essay with wisdom we can all use. My brother in law passed away last week. He was a fashion freak. I knew he had nice clothes but I didn't realize how many. He was a large guy, so the thought of keeping a nice shirt, sweater or jacket was not practical. My wife and I bagged 24 bags of clothes and donated them to the mission on Spadina. They were very grateful. Ain's essay resonates with me regarding the personal value of things. When I go, I may have 3 bags of clothes, but a million bags of precious memories that only my lovely wife will retain.
I am sorry for the loss of your brother in law. We also didn't know what to do with most of my dad's things, size being an issue too. Having the mindset that you have about possessions and memories is the way to go. I too hope to keep my life simple.
My mother once said she'd spent half her life spending and half her life giving it all away. This was not entirely true as I found closets full of unopened boxes filled with small appliances, collectibles, junk, and 3 crammed full of clothes, shoes, and purses. She also had two tall furniture pieces designed for jewelry alone.
It took her four adult children weeks to toss, give away, and sell, a burden no one should have to suffer.
My mom said the exact same thing! She said, "first half of your life you make money to buy all these things and second half of life, you're desperate to give them away". She too still has a lot leftover and I am not looking forward to having to dispose of it one day.
Prompt her to let go of things she no longer needs, have yard sales, and worry about it when it happens.....
That's very good advice!
Thanks. I don't usually give others advice because I don't appreciate it when I get it! I suppose I have learned after decades that worrying is pointless.....
I do agree and i have to remind myself often: when the time comes, I will be given the resources I need to handle whatever happens.
Eloquent wise writing on a painful topic, so many sentences illuminating the ones to follow until the cave is lit up - the walls, white-washed.
That is a gorgeous sentence, in of itself: until the cave is it lit up...thank you for reading my story and your heartfelt comment.