Beautiful essay. I love how you describe the cross, the hypocrisy of laying it in diamonds, and the shallowness of this woman's values. I came across my son's baby tooth the other day in my jewelry box. Now I envision it surrounded by gold, as a talisman around my wrist. I hope you continue to wear yours with pride.
For such a spiked moment, it is tenderly told. Someday perhaps the other woman will grow and be able to say, "Oh, how interesting. Please tell me more about it." Someday maybe that will be all of us. Curious and without judgement. I have kept baby teeth, hair and even belly buttons. The day my first born's fell off a Japanese friend told me about it being a tradition to keep them. My grown daughters are mildly aghast and humored by it. I love all our ways of celebrating life and connection. Thank you for sharing this piece of your writing.
Ugh, those micro-mannerisms. I'm curious...did you have other planned encounters with her, after that day? (Hoping she realized her flinch and gave it a thought or two...) Yes, so peculiar how the bloody cross has been sanitized and bejeweled over the years. You have a way with words and thought; it's a beautiful essay.
Yes, I did have a few planned encounters with her after that particular day, but I consider her more of a school parent acquaintance than a friend. Also, with micro-mannerisms and micro-aggressions, sometimes they are not at all conscious. We are so socialized into our particular society, and I recognize that she wouldn't understand my perspective as a multi-cultural woman, because she lacks imagination (why should she exercise this muscle when she is one of the privileged class?).
I don't want to give her a free pass, but at the same time I contextualize her in history and society just like I do myself.
Thank you so much for reading, and for your kind words--I appreciate it!
Ha! Yes, I do have many better friends, true friends, thank goodness. I felt compelled to stay school parent acquaintances with this person because we had our children, who were friends, and the school in common. I'll add that this particular person has a lot of good qualities that I admire. She's just not that fluent in diversity of culture and customs.
This writer apparently has very low self esteem! Upon seeing that charm, and finding out what it was, I would have have said "what a great idea!" She has to find some better friends!
Yeah, I don't think her reaction had anything to do with low self esteem. If you give it another, more careful read, you'll see the layers of historical otherness and perhaps understand at a deeper level her shame.
Our bodies carry many incomplete stories and their original impact. That arises of its own accord, innocently even if of shame. Then comes all this beautiful consideration and understanding that is eons ahead of the first response. Both carry truth. Dreams are similar.
Beautiful essay. I love how you describe the cross, the hypocrisy of laying it in diamonds, and the shallowness of this woman's values. I came across my son's baby tooth the other day in my jewelry box. Now I envision it surrounded by gold, as a talisman around my wrist. I hope you continue to wear yours with pride.
For such a spiked moment, it is tenderly told. Someday perhaps the other woman will grow and be able to say, "Oh, how interesting. Please tell me more about it." Someday maybe that will be all of us. Curious and without judgement. I have kept baby teeth, hair and even belly buttons. The day my first born's fell off a Japanese friend told me about it being a tradition to keep them. My grown daughters are mildly aghast and humored by it. I love all our ways of celebrating life and connection. Thank you for sharing this piece of your writing.
Ugh, those micro-mannerisms. I'm curious...did you have other planned encounters with her, after that day? (Hoping she realized her flinch and gave it a thought or two...) Yes, so peculiar how the bloody cross has been sanitized and bejeweled over the years. You have a way with words and thought; it's a beautiful essay.
Yes, I did have a few planned encounters with her after that particular day, but I consider her more of a school parent acquaintance than a friend. Also, with micro-mannerisms and micro-aggressions, sometimes they are not at all conscious. We are so socialized into our particular society, and I recognize that she wouldn't understand my perspective as a multi-cultural woman, because she lacks imagination (why should she exercise this muscle when she is one of the privileged class?).
I don't want to give her a free pass, but at the same time I contextualize her in history and society just like I do myself.
Thank you so much for reading, and for your kind words--I appreciate it!
Thank you for replying! I hope you will always wear your charm proudly.
Congratulation on the publication of this very insightful and thought-provoking essay!
Subtle and nuanced. Congrats on your essay.
Ha! Yes, I do have many better friends, true friends, thank goodness. I felt compelled to stay school parent acquaintances with this person because we had our children, who were friends, and the school in common. I'll add that this particular person has a lot of good qualities that I admire. She's just not that fluent in diversity of culture and customs.
This writer apparently has very low self esteem! Upon seeing that charm, and finding out what it was, I would have have said "what a great idea!" She has to find some better friends!
Yeah, I don't think her reaction had anything to do with low self esteem. If you give it another, more careful read, you'll see the layers of historical otherness and perhaps understand at a deeper level her shame.
Our bodies carry many incomplete stories and their original impact. That arises of its own accord, innocently even if of shame. Then comes all this beautiful consideration and understanding that is eons ahead of the first response. Both carry truth. Dreams are similar.