28 Comments
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Tanya F's avatar

“I could shelve my own sentimentalities and give her what she should never have to ask for.” This might be my new definition of parenting in crisis. Another powerful piece!

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

thank you so much, Tanya <3 that means the world!

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Patricia Meier's avatar

My heart goes out to you. My daughter passed in 2007, age 5, of a glioblastoma located at the pons of her brain.

Her ashes and favourite bear, “Tigwa” a polar bear are on a shelf in my home office.

You are not a bad mom. You are a woman who is doing the best she can with an unfathomable situation.

I wrote a book about my daughter, Alexandra’s journey to help parents going through the experience and the grief.

I hope Carolyn’s outcome is not like Alexandra’s. My heart and prayers are with you.

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

Thinking of you, Patricia, and of Alexandra. Not a day goes by when I don't think of all my friends and all the parents who have lost their children to cancer. It's so unfair and I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing Alexandra's story <3

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Patricia Meier's avatar

Thank you for your kind words. I would never want you to feel bad that your daughter is still here and mine is not. 💜 I do not feel that way at all. She taught me so much in her five years. I am nothing but grateful for her presence in my life.

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Danusia Malina-Derben's avatar

This was such a heart wrench of a read. Elizabeth, wow and thank you for every exhilarating poignant word 💖

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

thank you so, so much <3

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Prajna O'Hara's avatar

Dear Elizabeth, this is written so beautifully. I actually listen to it and felt my heart pounding. This is such a familiar story and many ways.

Carolyn and snuffle bunny so sweet.

Thank you for all that you do. This piece had a beautiful transmission. I appreciate you and your family. Thank you.

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

Thank you so much <3

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According to Mimi's avatar

What an honest, raw, beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.

I'll just be over here picking up the tiny pieces of my broken heart.

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

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Jacqueline Dooley's avatar

This essay is gorgeous and heartbreaking. I'm so happy your Carolyn is thriving. Tell her a stranger on the internet hopes she gives Snuffle Bunny a big hug.

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

thank you, from both of us (and Snuffle Bunny)!

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Abby Alten Schwartz's avatar

As the mother of a daughter with cystic fibrosis, who has watched my friends lose their daughters to the same disease, I held my breath reading this. Your writing is beautiful and I’m so glad your daughter is doing well. Those hospital days stay with you, don’t they?

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

Oh, they stay, and it's so hard to explain....but you truly never forget it. Her hospital room is the easiest thing to call to mind and has been for a while- I can even still smell it.

Sending love to you and your daughter <3

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Sara Roahen's avatar

This piece is one of the most beautiful things I've read in a while. And it's terrible too, of course. "When the ER doctor looked into my face, her eyes like two small worlds . . ." Sending love to you and your daughter and Snuffle Bunny.

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

well now I'm crying, thank you <3

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Caren Gussoff Sumption's avatar

Oh, Elizabeth. I don't know you or your daughter (or Snuffle), but I feel like I do after reading your essay. I have not lost a child, but my parents lost two (both my sisters), so I have a different perspective, no less painful and encompassing. All love, light, prayers, and strength to the three of you.

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

I'm so sorry for your loss of your sisters and for what your family went through. Sending light and love your way <3

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Sage Justice's avatar

Beautiful and captivating. It’s left me longing to know how your daughter is doing today.

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

Thank you so much, I'm relived to share that she is a thriving 13 year old!

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Kim Smyth's avatar

I can’t imagine going through this with your child. I have gone through it with my mother-in-law, but that is different. Of course you aren’t a bad mom, how could you know what to expect or anything else?

I love your writing style, how you assimilate and make us feel like we are right there going through it with you.

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

thank you so much, Kim <3

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Kate Stone Lombardi's avatar

Stunning, in every sense of the word.

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

Thank you 💕

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Sarah Hauser's avatar

This is so beautiful and so moving. I had a brother who passed at 2 years old (I was 10) due to heart defect and it was devastating and life changing for me - but painful on a whole other level for my mom. Thank you for sharing your story. I am relieved to see in your comments that she is a thriving 13 year old:)

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Elizabeth Austin's avatar

thank you, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I'm sending you lots of warmth and healing thoughts <3

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Sarah Hauser's avatar

Thanks so much. It has been many years but I think of him often and am grateful for the time I did have with him and beautiful memories and photos. he is always in my heart, a beautiful angel.

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