"...That feeling of bottomless lack is exactly what these new-world titans want for you, and it dovetails beautifully with the effortless opportunities for compulsive consumption with which they have surrounded us." Don't I know it sister. As it happens, I have also begun my own intention of not buying any article of clothing for a year. I've spent the past few days unsubscribing to every shopping related email. Getting back all that time I shopped online alone should be worth it. Wish me luck! Congrats to you!
The algorithim observation is spot on. The deliberate manufacture of lack tailored to our individual weak spots is such a poweful framing. I tried a similiar restraint with tech gadgets last year (different domain, same problem) and the hardest part wasn't saying no to specific purchases, it was dealing with the baseline restlessness that comes from removing that outlet. Like noticing the itch that was always there. It turns out what I actually missed wasnt the stuff itself but the ritual of browsing and imagining, which is kinda messed up when u think about it.
Oh my god. "I’m convinced on, like, a cellular level that there exists a dress or a pair of shoes that, the moment I buy it, will render me so perfectly lovely that I emerge from the carapace of self-loathing I’ve built up over the decades I’ve spent marinating in mass media and the male gaze." I am in love with this piece. Fantastically fun to read and thought-provoking and your STYLE. Wonderful.
Really enjoyed the story and your writing style. Good mix of point blank + humor + self deprecation. And its a story worth sharing!! Like the 1 week of tech fasting experience shared by a group of college students in the NY Times this week. I hope you can share your expierence more widely.
I really appreciate this, especially as we kick off a new year and my email is filled with sales, deals, and warnings that these prices won't last. As someone who loathes clothes shopping, I still find my closet overflowing with impulsive purchases that end up being given away. (Usually made at the beginning of a season, when I've forgotten what I have, where it is, or how to make the transition to warmer/colder weather dressing.) Good, thoughtful piece — and you're right, your retail break is not nothing. It's inspiring.
Yes, I get it. Clothes as a drug. I'm an addict too. Can't say I'm a recovering addict, just a plain ol' everyday wanna-shop addict. Although I've done so less lately. I don't buy online, so there's a candy shop I can bypass. And if, (big if) I don't go past retail shops, they are not going to nab me as I walk past. Nor fall into the chute that takes me straight to the cashier. But, for all my curtailing of the happy button, it is still ready to spring into action. At least this addiction is legal. Good post!
You beautifully articulate exactly how I feel about my relationship to clothes and shopping. I tried a shopping fast a couple of years ago. I only lasted 7 months, though. I do truly love clothes. But I have way more than I need or wear. Scrolling through style accounts on Instagram is my crack. I find myself coveting things some of the influencers are wearing even though they don’t work with my style or my life. I buy most of my clothes secondhand. It’s better than buying new things, but also makes me more prone to justifying impulse purchases since I’m paying so much less for the things I thrift.
Excellent, thank you! You have incredible self discipline. I bought two “new” pieces at a vintage store yesterday. Did I need them? No. Did I want them? Yes. Am I sorry? No.
Substitute music/guitar gear for me. I still read the forums and wonder, when I read about the latest this or that, if it will make me the brilliant musician I know is in there somewhere. I feel I've come to terms with it. I've got too many effects pedals and am ready to start slimming the heard. A revelation came when a friend built a pedal and sold it to me for $17 and it has become my #1 pedal. It has no nomenclature to impress other guitar players with my shopping prowess. It has no caché to awe fellow forumists. It taught me a lesson. Sometimes, what you have is enough and everything you need, even though every one says you must continue the search for some holy grail that they claim exists and that you don't have it. When the dust clears and you give yourself a minute, you come to realize, that "holy grail" is you. Not some device, some clothing, some item...out of your physical grasp. That "holy grail was in us all along. Just that that belief doesn't feed the beast. It doesn't bring you under the control of some common cabal that all judge each other by their willingness to follow the spell of want. The spell that says you're not good enough without this or that unattainable state of being. Congrats on finding you! As the Prophet Omega says...you are it...and that's all there is.
"...That feeling of bottomless lack is exactly what these new-world titans want for you, and it dovetails beautifully with the effortless opportunities for compulsive consumption with which they have surrounded us." Don't I know it sister. As it happens, I have also begun my own intention of not buying any article of clothing for a year. I've spent the past few days unsubscribing to every shopping related email. Getting back all that time I shopped online alone should be worth it. Wish me luck! Congrats to you!
The algorithim observation is spot on. The deliberate manufacture of lack tailored to our individual weak spots is such a poweful framing. I tried a similiar restraint with tech gadgets last year (different domain, same problem) and the hardest part wasn't saying no to specific purchases, it was dealing with the baseline restlessness that comes from removing that outlet. Like noticing the itch that was always there. It turns out what I actually missed wasnt the stuff itself but the ritual of browsing and imagining, which is kinda messed up when u think about it.
Oh my god. "I’m convinced on, like, a cellular level that there exists a dress or a pair of shoes that, the moment I buy it, will render me so perfectly lovely that I emerge from the carapace of self-loathing I’ve built up over the decades I’ve spent marinating in mass media and the male gaze." I am in love with this piece. Fantastically fun to read and thought-provoking and your STYLE. Wonderful.
Really enjoyed the story and your writing style. Good mix of point blank + humor + self deprecation. And its a story worth sharing!! Like the 1 week of tech fasting experience shared by a group of college students in the NY Times this week. I hope you can share your expierence more widely.
I really appreciate this, especially as we kick off a new year and my email is filled with sales, deals, and warnings that these prices won't last. As someone who loathes clothes shopping, I still find my closet overflowing with impulsive purchases that end up being given away. (Usually made at the beginning of a season, when I've forgotten what I have, where it is, or how to make the transition to warmer/colder weather dressing.) Good, thoughtful piece — and you're right, your retail break is not nothing. It's inspiring.
Yes, I get it. Clothes as a drug. I'm an addict too. Can't say I'm a recovering addict, just a plain ol' everyday wanna-shop addict. Although I've done so less lately. I don't buy online, so there's a candy shop I can bypass. And if, (big if) I don't go past retail shops, they are not going to nab me as I walk past. Nor fall into the chute that takes me straight to the cashier. But, for all my curtailing of the happy button, it is still ready to spring into action. At least this addiction is legal. Good post!
Very inspiring piece! Your sharp thoughts pierce right through all of this while your language entertains us.
You beautifully articulate exactly how I feel about my relationship to clothes and shopping. I tried a shopping fast a couple of years ago. I only lasted 7 months, though. I do truly love clothes. But I have way more than I need or wear. Scrolling through style accounts on Instagram is my crack. I find myself coveting things some of the influencers are wearing even though they don’t work with my style or my life. I buy most of my clothes secondhand. It’s better than buying new things, but also makes me more prone to justifying impulse purchases since I’m paying so much less for the things I thrift.
Excellent, thank you! You have incredible self discipline. I bought two “new” pieces at a vintage store yesterday. Did I need them? No. Did I want them? Yes. Am I sorry? No.
But I admire your perseverance!
Substitute music/guitar gear for me. I still read the forums and wonder, when I read about the latest this or that, if it will make me the brilliant musician I know is in there somewhere. I feel I've come to terms with it. I've got too many effects pedals and am ready to start slimming the heard. A revelation came when a friend built a pedal and sold it to me for $17 and it has become my #1 pedal. It has no nomenclature to impress other guitar players with my shopping prowess. It has no caché to awe fellow forumists. It taught me a lesson. Sometimes, what you have is enough and everything you need, even though every one says you must continue the search for some holy grail that they claim exists and that you don't have it. When the dust clears and you give yourself a minute, you come to realize, that "holy grail" is you. Not some device, some clothing, some item...out of your physical grasp. That "holy grail was in us all along. Just that that belief doesn't feed the beast. It doesn't bring you under the control of some common cabal that all judge each other by their willingness to follow the spell of want. The spell that says you're not good enough without this or that unattainable state of being. Congrats on finding you! As the Prophet Omega says...you are it...and that's all there is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmkAXMu5XPc