My most prized possession—the one item I’d save in a fire—is a wadded-up tissue.
Let me back up. My mother, sister, and I spent a week together in September 2016 in Tuscany at a yoga retreat just after I’d received a gut-punch email from my on-again-off-again boyfriend ending things for good. Always one to keep things to myself, I didn’t tell them about it or how much I was hurting.
We spent the week exploring Tuscany, taking yoga classes among the vineyards, and indulging in pasta and wine. The time together was a much-needed and welcomed distraction from the pain I was holding.
After the yoga retreat, I planned to kiss them both goodbye and set off on my first solo international trip. I would take the train to Cinque Terre to hike between towns for the next week. I’d yearned for this type of adventure for years, and it was finally coming to fruition.
During our week together, my mom frequently made comments about my need to stay safe and be careful when traveling alone. I was already irritable from the breakup, and these “reminders” were getting under my skin. I had traveled alone extensively in the U.S. for my job as a software implementation consultant, so I was hardly a novice. Why was she so worried? What I subconsciously recognized as love and concern was showing itself as anxiety and nagging.
It all came to a head the night before they flew home. Their flight was scheduled early in the morning, so they planned to sneak out quietly before I woke up. As we were saying our goodbyes, my mom couldn’t help but express her worries—again—and I snapped. “Do you think I’m dumb?” I yelled. “Do you think I want to put myself in unsafe situations? You have to trust that you raised me well enough to make good decisions!” It ended the conversation, but I went to bed feeling hurt and angry.
When I awoke the next morning, my mom and sister were gone as expected. I immediately sensed the quiet in the room and felt my own sliver of anxiety, knowing that I was truly on my own for the next week in a foreign country. What had I done? Was I ready for this?
I got myself ready and lugged my suitcase to the door, the weight of my bag mirroring my mind. As I went to reach for the apartment keys from the entry table, I immediately recognized her handwriting—a note from my mom written on a generic bathroom tissue.
“I wish for you great, wonderful adventures. Love you oodles and gobs, Mom.”
I stood in the doorway and reread her words. This was more than a travel wish. It was an olive branch, maybe even an apology. It flooded me in the best way, and I teared up thinking about her love for me and how heavy it must feel sometimes to see your child take chances.
I folded up the tissue and stuffed it in my passport wallet. Keeping it with me was keeping her with me. Since that day, the tissue has accompanied me on every adventure I’ve had. I look at it every time, not only as a reminder of her support, but also as a lesson in loving someone enough to let them be themselves and chase their dreams, even when it feels impossible.
Kelly Bunch is a writer, editor, and community builder with a passion for poetry, storytelling, and self-reflective essays. Her writing has recently been published in the poetry collection If You Ever: Poems Inspired by Kim Addonizio, and she has also published work in Thrive Global, Made in KC Explore, and KC Options magazine. She lives in Kansas City with her husband and enjoys experiencing the world through travel and oversharing with the internet on her Substacks, The Tea Library and Hope No One Reads This.
Object-ives features flash nonfiction essays of 500-999 words on the possessions we can’t stop thinking about.
Recommended reading on possessions:
“A Love Letter to the Humble Cassette” by Robert C. Gilbert, Listening Sessions
“Good Riddance: Keepsakes of the Almost” by Amber Tamblyn, Listening in the Dark
“On Collecting Reference & Inspiration” by Daniel ➽ Letterpress Designer, Letterpress Love: New Things. Old Ways.
“8 Places to Buy Art Supplies That Aren’t Amazon” by Jaime Reynolds [Artist]
“Let’s Talk About Shoes (and How to Declutter Them)” by Avery Cundill, The Declutter Queen
“I joined a decluttering challenge and got rid of 496 items in a month. I made a point to not throw anything in the trash.” as told to Lauren Finney Harden, Business Insider
“The Best Things on Fifth Avenue Don’t Cost a Dime” by Jennifer Gersten, The New York Times
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Thank you, Kelly, for the shout-out here and enjoyed reading your piece!
Love this. So sweet