44 Comments
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Eleanor Vincent's avatar

Ellen - this is moving and important. The sudden loss of a child is, at least for me, something I will never "get over." After 34 years of grieving for Maya, my grief has softened. But it still ebbs and flows. I'm so glad you found "tangling" and shared the experience. I color intricate mandalas in the Angie Grace coloring books. I have two books full! It brings me a sense of integration and peace. Finding a way through grief is a spiritual practice we all need to learn. You've given us a lovely route to try!

Ellen Moore's avatar

Eleanor, I'll have to look for those mandalas. Thanks for another idea! You're right... we will never "be over" the death of a child. It does soften and get smaller in proportion to the continuation of living. I'm grateful for that.

Julia S's avatar

Ellen- Thank you for sharing your writing. This is truly beautiful. I have really enjoyed the couple of times I have Tangled with you. It is such a peaceful, mindful process. Somehow I always manage to ‘mess up’ the instructions but I always end up with something unique, something mine, and something still beautiful. 🙂

Ellen Moore's avatar

LOL! There is no "messing up". That's what's so great about it. If we could only learn that about life, right? Thanks so much for reading it!

Cindy Eastman's avatar

The only time I've ever heard of Zentangle is when my daughter brought her son to a workshop one time. They both loved it. I lost her 2 years ago and reading about your own grief connected with the kind of drawing she loved to do was soothing. Thank you.

Ellen Moore's avatar

Oh Cindy, I'm so sorry we share that loss and I'm grateful the essay comforted you. Maybe you can find a class to try it and feel what it's like to build something one stroke at a time. Sending you a big hug!

Cindy Eastman's avatar

It's a possibility...I do draw sometimes as a way to release a little tension and lose myself in some creativity without feeling that I'm "working." I'm not any good at it, but I find it extremely beneficial! I'll let you know if I "tangle!" :)

Ellen Moore's avatar

The people who founded ZT did it, in part, to help people learn that everyone can draw. Trust me. I "can't draw" either. It's really cool. Zentangle.com is a good place to start.

Cindy Eastman's avatar

Thanks! I'll check it out!

Julie Hester's avatar

Ellen, this is so lovely. Thank you for sharing these lessons from Zentangle and grief. Makes me want to try it!

Ellen Moore's avatar

Please do! It's a wonderful practice. Thanks for reading!

C McKenna's avatar

Tending to grief and understanding its ebb and flow is such a personal experience. It’s sometimes the smallest things that create the most perspective - how picking up simple tools - pen/pencil, paper, and eraser - can create a new path for our brain and heart, one stroke at a time.

Each tile - a moment in time on a walk with grief and new understanding.

Ellen Moore's avatar

Yes, so personal. On "good" days, it's a soft, easy practice that helps me meander through the messiness. Other days, it's harder and more frustrating. I keep going back, not always quite sure why - watching it pull me forward ever still. Thanks so much for reading.

Dayshima Jackson's avatar

Ellen - I am truly amazed by you and all that you have overcome throughout your grief journey. Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty and vulnerability. Your article taught me and undoubtedly many others about Zentangles and the healing benefits of this practice. Wishing you continued love, light, peace, healing, and joy on your journey.

Ellen Moore's avatar

Thank you so much for reading! Hope you can find some time to try Zentangle over the summer ◡̈

SouthpawDE's avatar

This is beautiful, Ellen. And so interesting. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Ellen Moore's avatar

I'm glad you found it interesting. Thanks for reading!

Andrea Tate / I'll Show You's avatar

Thank you for this beautiful yet heartbreaking essay, Ellen. Holding you in my heart as you make your way.

Ellen Moore's avatar

Hi Andrea. Thanks for taking time to read it and for holding me in your heart. Such a lovely thought ◡̈

Meg Robson Mahoney's avatar

I've heard Zentangles recommended before. You make it make so much sense, as a pathway into meditation & healing. Thank you.

Ellen Moore's avatar

Yay! Glad to hear it made sense and hope you can find a way to try it.

Lozo Naylayer's avatar

I appreciate so much the pause, the adjustments in perspective and attitude, the mention of softening, and the idea of going slower than slow. Thank you

Ellen Moore's avatar

I was just hearing the mantra earlier today... "Whatever is going faster than slow, let's slow that all down." Love that! Glad it was meaningful to you as well. Little by slowly we make our way, don't we?

Annie West's avatar

Ellen, I know the feeling of being drawn into a pattern and it keeps me coming back since 2020! Heartfelt condolences for your struggles. Happy you found the group. It centers me and makes me whole no matter what is happening. Glad you share the joy with your fellow survivors too.

Ellen Moore's avatar

Annie,

Grateful to have found the group also! Thanks for taking time to read it. I'm already missing the Sunday classes for summer.

David Dixon's avatar

Ellen,

Thanks for sharing some of your painful and beautiful story. Continued healing as you journey slowly through your personal trauma.

And yes—you are a very good writer.

Ellen Moore's avatar

Awww - thanks David! Great to see you here!

Suzi Banks Baum's avatar

Thank you Ellen for being so real with us on the page. I admire your willingness to give ZT a try. Do you know Amy Maricle's work? Find her if you want to add to your ZT world. Amy's Slow Drawing book helped me carry my drawing forward in an easy way. xosbb

Ellen Moore's avatar

Hi Suzi. I don't know her work and I'll look it up now. Thank you!

Becky Purvis's avatar

Beautiful work. I doodle but this is doodling with purpose. You should be so proud of what you do.

Ellen Moore's avatar

Yes - mindful doodling with a purpose. I bet you would like it! Hope you can find a way to try it.

Nettie Reynolds's avatar

Ellen -this is such a moving piece. Thank you for sharing about how you are dealing with grief.

Ellen Moore's avatar

Thanks Nettie! There are lots of ways I keep trying to deal with grief. It's a twisty, windy path... sort of like Zentangle.