22 Comments

Ten years ago, I was thrust into my mother’s prolonged mental health crisis. I got very depressed and had PTSD for years. I unfriended tons of people on all social media and shut down twitter. I acted weird and moody on FB. Now I’m in the weird position of writing a book proposal for my memoir about my experience, and ideally I have a “platform” to show I have an audience. It feels antithetical and unhealthy to try to grow one now, so I’m still grappling with how to solve that issue. Trauma, grief, caretaking, none of that meshes well with social media.

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This is so true—the more challenging life becomes, the more difficult it is to navigate the various platforms and expectations.

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So much of this—even the caregiving part—is the same for me. I’m glad I’m not alone.

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This is so relatable and I am all about your honesty. Personal branding aside this is the kind of writing I came looking for on Substack. Brava.

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I agree—there’s a lot to learn in here ❤️

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This reminded me I needed to deactivate my government name Facebook account. I keep my pseudonymous ones strictly for promoting/discussing my writing and wipe anything even close to politics off of all of them. I feel a lot better doing this.

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I’ll add this to my latest newsletter where I talk about mental health. I think social media is a big trigger for those of us who have unprocessed trauma or are actively experiencing trauma. The extreme nature of social media (be it the good or the bad) is too much for our nervous systems. Social media has an enormous impact on our emotional well-being and can very quickly lead to dysregulation. I do share some resources in my newsletter that can maybe help heal or process some of that trauma or help regulate given that some people need social media to be a part of their professional or personal lives.

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Preach! (Mostly) quitting social media has been one of the best things I've ever done for my mental health. I do feel pulled back to it occasionally because it feels like part of a writer's job. I want to find readers or to be in the spaces where (some) readers are, but it's just not worth what it costs me. Thanks for sharing your experience. I related to it deeply 🙏

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I relate to this SO HARD on so many levels. Thanks for putting it into words.

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Thanks for making it feel ok to admit to feeling utterly overwhelmed by social media especially when the rest of life becomes much too much - and that it’s ok to turn the off switch.

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THIS! I'm going through this now. I've disconnected after coming out of a dark time, and I feel like a weight has been lifted.

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Oh man, do I relate to this on every single level.

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This resonates. Though I do miss your posts about travel and food and books and music (and and and…), social media has felt increasingly tiresome and stressful over the past few years—both the posting and the reading. Thanks for putting some of my feelings into words.

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I feel this on so many levels. I'm in a similar position, but I'm starting to build my brand, so I don't feel like I can escape social media just yet. That being said, I no longer keep any social media apps on my phone. I'm also scheduling a lot of time with friends individually and reading more. I felt like I was wasting my creativity on social media for someone else to make billions whilst I barely make thousands. Thank you for sharing this.

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I really relate to this...I've taken a few breaks from social media over the past few years, and while I've missed some of the social justice learning that I feel like social media brings to me, I've just felt a lot more at peace and more connected to people in my life because it made me reach out to them for chats.

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Been struggling with this a long time.

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I sympathize with your situation. I was the primary caregiver for my parents. I was totally unprepared for it and am still processing it in therapy.

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I recently took a 2 week social media detox and it was heaven. Trying to strike a balance I guess, but it isn’t easy. Thank you for sharing your authenticity.

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It's definitely a tricky balance but more and more people seem to be taking similar detoxes or adjusting how and how often they use social media. I don't think it's all bad or all good but it can certainly be addictive! -- Rachel

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